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TIFU by losing all my friends.

2020.09.29 12:33 randomfella62 TIFU by losing all my friends.

I dunno if this is the right place to post but I've tried a lot of places alreadys o.


Awh Jesus, this will be a long one.
Right so basically my closest friends have mostly been in one group. 7 guys including me( we all went to school together) and 3 girls who were originally integrated as part of the group, by dating some of these guys, my friends. No romantic relationships still exist in the group.
Side part, also rather important, I had this other friend lets name him Joe. Joe was friends with my group of friends but he and I were always particularly close. He started seeing a girl let's call her Kate about 4 years ago. Kate and Joe never spent anytime apart. They moved into a house together like 2 years ago. Kate would always "jokingly" put me down, bringing up embarassing stories about me being too drunk, or just telling a story with me as the brunt of the joke. I never ever told her about how that made me feel, she was very nice to me at times, but her treatment of me always put me down. One day in January or something i visited the couple and kinda lashed out at Kate. I said "you know you can really be a b*%$£ to me at times, you can really make me feel like shit, be quite horrible to me." I realise I could've worded it better but I was panicking and was stoned (not an excuse I know) and that is what came out. Joe (again, longtime friend for years) told me to get the fuck out of his house and threatened to hit me. Rang him the next day and he tore the head off me. He made a bunch of unfair accussations about me never pulling my weight in our friendship so to speak. This is total bullshit as I always went out of my way to see him, and put up with Kate.
Anyways that was back story, about 2 months or 3 months ago, one of my very good friends lets call him Alan, messaged me saying I should really watch how I talk to one of the girls (let's call her Sarah)m that I often have made her very uncomfortable. I had no idea what he was talkig about. I messaged Sarah (again, a very close friend of mine, the two of us having been through a lot of personal shit together, and having been there for each other in the past) apologising and asking what I might've done to upset her. She didn't want to tell me but was willing to move on. Grand.
Few weeks later I was meant to meet up with my friend (one of the 3 girls, lets call her Emma), to bring our dogs for a walk. I agreed to her proposing message saying we could meet up in an hour or so. In that space of time , my sisters arrived with their familys as did my girlfriend. I completely forgot about my plan with Emma and brought my dog for a walk with my gf. I return home to find the messages from Emma saying stuff like "okay im in the field" and whatever else. I felt really bad cus I'd completely forgottten about her. I messaged her explaining that my sisters and their families had arrived as did Niamh and I forgot completely, apologising.
Later that day we were at a friends (one of the guys') and after I went home she messaged me saying how my "apology" was a load of bullshit because she saw me and Niamh look at her and turn around. Neither me nor Niamh remember seeing her, but she was adament that we just turned around on her. Obviously I was now in a bit of a panic because she was accusing me of just dipping on her entirely, so I messaged her lots explaining the situation and apologising. I clearly went rather OTT with the messages (probably about 15 messages) cus she replied saying stop bombarding me.
Right, so the next day in our groupchat there was a photo of Alan, Sarah and a dog. I asked oh who owns that dog it's a nice photo, Emma explains it was hers and asks how I didn't recognise it because I'd met her little doggy plenty of times. This is where shit got intense. Alan left the chat because "the chat was sending him paro" essentially meaning, he thought there was a lot of bullshit going on he didn't agree with. I messaged him privately asking if everything was okay and he just started laying into me. He accused me of trying to make an alibi by asking who owned the dog (as in "oh if I ask who owns the dog, it will look like I really didn't see Emma or her dog that day, FULLY DID NOT SEE HER OR THE DOG). He started saying I was incredibly emotionally manipulitive and that I was being a shit friend to everyone in the group. He brought up the thing with Sarah again, but without telling me exactly what it was I did/said.
Now I can understand that it is not down to ME whether or not I did something to make Sarah uncomfortable. But I 100% have never said anything overtly sexual or touched her or anything like that. The few examples I've been given (since this chat with Alan) were things like, I was making comments about her legs or her hair or what she was wearing. I was simply complementing her. We were friends for years, I thought that was okay. What hurt the most about this is that, Sarah told Alan instead of telling me. Some of our mutuals have made me understand that I put her in a position where she felt she couldn't talk to me, and so she spoke to Alan. But, for her to tell Alan and for him to start telling me what's right and wrong in such a aggressive way, really upset me. He started trying to find similarities between what had happened between me and sarah and between me and emma. He brought up the way I was texting her so aggresively (ironic seeing as how he was texting me at that very moment)
Anywayyyyys, all of that happened about 7 or 8 weeks ago. Last week I was making some random non-pressing comments in the groupchat. In the group chat were the 2 girls and your man Alan, but also a lot of other people, who were not involved. Alan told me to stop talking in the chat, and then proceeded to essentially say "hey man stop, pretending everything's alright, nobody wants to make small talk with you, you treated a lot of people badly...." He called me out in front of everybody in the grup, including those who had no involvment. Others agreed and I left the chat and havent spoken to a lot of them since.
The thing is, this guy Alan, had been a great friend of mine, but I had always thought that he often devalued his friends' opinions and just loved having his voice heard. He was always very good to me, but almost in a "see look how nice I am to my friends" type way. He's always held his own voice and opinion above others and over the years I learned to take this aspect of Alan's personality with a pinch of salt so as it wouldn't upset me as much. So for him to point me out on all that had happened like th judge jury and executioner, felt terrible.
Lastly, I privately messaged another friend in the group, asking what I had done to upset him personally and apologising for anything I might've done but that I couldn't think of anything. He proceeded to say so much bullshit. One of the things he said was "If you've wronged someone they don't have to put forward an argument as to why they are upset, and you don't get to argue that you didn't", this to me is just non sensical as it avoids any chance of finding the source of the problem and discussing as a group together. Then, which honestly I appreciated as nobody else had told me what else I had done wrong, he gave me lots of examples of thing I'd done wrong to upset the group.
He brought up a time on a zoom call back in April, where I had drunkenly instagram messaged a girl that we all kinda half know through Alan, saying how I thought she was beautiful, sexy cool and whatever else. Now to me, it seems like the reacted as if i had messaged her saying giz a look at your tits. Again I'm really trying to understand that it's not me that gets to decide the affect my actions have on people, but in my eyes not a big deal.
He brought up (out of nowhere!) how a bunch of times I had drank so much on nights out in recent pre covid months, that I had fallen asleep. It just felt like he was looking for anything to show my "misbehaviour". All of my friends drink too much and smoke too much weed, that comment seemed unnecessary, that's just sometime how I reacted to being drunk.
He brought up the argument with Joe and Kate, which he had no right to do.
Essentially I feel like, all of a sudden my friends have turned into saints and are judging me on a bunch of things as a group. It all seems rather childish to me the way a number of individual situations have been propelled into a group discussion.
I can still maintain a good relationship with some of the group on an individual level, but it deeply upsets me that I don't think I'll ever be in a room with all of those people again. All of this is coinciding with my first relationship and now all of a sudden I'm spending more and more time with her in her part of the city (and loving it), and it's just such a drastic shift all of a sudden.
When I'm with her my brain doesn't think of all the lost friends as much because she just makes me so happy and thank God for her, but lastnight I was smoking a joint with one of the mutual friends from the group and was talking to him about it all. He was so blunt with me, he seemed to really understand why things had transgressed and didn't offer me much sympathy (good I guess, the reality of it.) He agreed that Sarah telling Alan (the thing which started it all) instead of me, was a shitty thing for her to. He agrees that it must've sucked coming from Alan because he agrees with me that he's essentially an egomaniac. But he said that, while he doesn't necessarily agree that the things I did were terrible, he acknowledged that the group, acting as a group, were within their rights to call me out and to list off all the things I'd done. He said it wasn't about what's right or wrong, but about the fact that a number of things I did were "not agreeing with the group's mentality" or whatever.
I'ts just a weird time in my life right now where I feel like I've lost a number of close friends and that I lost my place in the group. (There's pros and cons of being in the group honestly, but its inherently sad nontheless)
If you read all this thanks for taking the time to do so. I'm not even sure if it'll make sense to yee redditors.
TLDR
Essentially I did some things that upset my friends. They reacted in a weird group type way and were not direct with me at all about the things I did. Now I'm not part of the group anymore and while I'm not devastated (I have other friends) it's super depressing to think I'll never be in pub or something together with them again.
submitted by randomfella62 to tifu [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 12:14 i_regret_thinking I (22F) don't know if I should break with my boyfriend (27M) because he is immature, but I feel pressured into this relationship by my family.

We have been together for 5 years (you heard it right: he was 22 and I was 17 when we started dating) and at the time I fell in love with him being knowledgable and mature compared to my peers. Now I'm the 22 years old and he looks extremely immature to me, in certain things. I'm scared to break up because after 5 years together, my parents bought us a home and we are expected to go there in a few months to live on our own, but I wouldn't be able financially to take care of this home alone (even if I honestly feel we won't be able to take care of it together since he was expected to go to work full time and to graduate... But he keeps postponing. I was probably dumb to rely on him for months and not thinking about that 0.0001% of chance to fail, that in his case is always 99.9%) and I feel pressured into this relationship for this reason.
Let me just say that he is still knowledgeable and I admire his vast culture. He still loves me and takes care of me by always cooking when we are together (he loves to do it, I'm not forcing him into something) and always making sure I take my pills and other random act of everyday kindness. He is the perfect partner and we are extremely compatible: the same hobbies, same interests... The problem is that when major events occur, he is really immature. Here are some examples (you can skip them if you trust me, but please read after the list):
  1. He is 27 and still hasn't finished his Master's degree. He literally has to write his thesis and THAT'S IT. He has the highest GPA possible and no more exams to take. One years passed and he did... Nothing. He was late for his Bachelor's too due to "stress" (over what? I don't know) and poor work ethic because he wasted time doing nothing. He can't think or do something he doesn't feel like doing, even if it's important. He says he feels stressed and we are also going to check if he is on the autistic spectrum to see if it's due to burnouts or it's just his nature (and if it turns out he is not autistic but just lazy, I would probably be upset for his behaviour since in these months he wants everyone to treat him like an autistic person). However, I don't really feel like judging him because he lives in a troubled family where his mother is abusive, her sister is aggressive, his dad is suicidal and his grandfather was bipolar. Growing in such a messy environment will lead to some problem for sure and I understand that he may need more time to do things. It's ok, but it's a red flag to me the fact that I always have to ask him how the Master's is going and if he did something because otherwise, I fear he won't be autonomous.
  2. We had a conversation recently and he told me that the reason why his mother always tells him that he smells bad (I can't smell anything at all, it's like I have no nose and I wouldn't be able to tell myself) it's because he just does a shower maybe once a week and that's it. I take a shower every 3 days, I wash my armpits every day, my private parts two or more times a day. I had no idea. He told me that having a daily hygiene routine "stresses him" and when I told him that hygiene is not up to discussion, he was upset because I couldn't understand his stress.
  3. I have to beg him to go to the doctor and to do a blood exam every year because otherwise he won't do it. He also doesn't eat fruits and vegetables so I was really scared for his health. He went to the doctor this year after 4 years of me begging. It happened two times that he had a fungal infection on his arm and I had to notice it and to bring him to at least a Pharmacy to get some medication before it got worse. He wouldn't have done it alone. He didn't even know what his blood type was.
  4. Once we were working (we work together... I actually told him to try to apply for my same job position after I got hired because he was 26, no work experience and nothing to lose) and a colleague asked him to bring some keys at a certain hour. Not only he FORGOT completely what he had to do, but tried to make me meet with the colleague instead of him because he was scared of the consequences. Speaking of job, while I'm actively trying to find another one, he is not doing anything. He is just choosy and won't even send his cv because "they require to talk to people and I'm autistic and I can't do that" (as I said, we don't know if he is autistic yet, and even if he was, he would be a high functioning one and he needs to find out how to cope in the same way I perfectly cope with my dyslexia/dyscalculia). I'm going crazy because he is at home reading all day long, not working at his thesis and neither searching for job opportunities.
  5. He just can't take care of deadlines. He wanted so bad to enter into a PhD programme and he couldn't do it because... He completely fucked up with deadlines. C'mon. How irresponsible can you be to fuck this up in such a dumb way??
  6. He always told me he wanted kids. I want no kids. At all. He recently told me he was ok with that and we are also considering vasectomy (which is easier and safer than a tube ligation). I fear I'm forcing him into something he does not fully realize and I fear he is doing it only because he doesn't want to use condoms (too expensive to buy every time and I actually feel pain with them) and I can't take hormonal contraceptive because I have Crohn's and I can't have the spiral installed because my uterus has a weird shape. I don't want him to do something to his body if he is not fully aware, but he the fact that I doubt he is mature enough for this when he is 27 is worrying, right?
To further complicate things, he has no friends and I fear he will be alone, with not enough money to be independent. I feel shitty because he really treats me like a princess, but his immaturity is starting to worry me and I don't know what to do.
submitted by i_regret_thinking to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 12:09 tarotharo How do I stop relationship anxiety (M20) (M20)

I've been dating this guy (gay relationship) for 10 months and we are head over heels for eachother, there's no doubt I'm in love with him, but for some reason I CAN NOT stop thinking about him and the relationship. Every second thought is him, it's embarrassing.
Sometimes it's positive but most of the time it's me trying to analyse the fuck out of the relationship, looking through things we've done and said both positive but mostly negative, which leads me to resent him sometimes which I hate because I love him so much. I spend HOURS just thinking about him, to the point where it's so extremely draining. Sometimes I'll just start crying out of nowhere because I catastrophise him cheating on me or something horrible happening. The thing is, the relationship realistically is going well and we trust eachother but my anxiety is just making me believe that every little thing means that I'm gonna get heartbroken.
Its frustrating because I just wanna enjoy the relationship like he is but I'm stuck in my head, my therapist suggested I think realistically but rationalising isn't working because I'm self aware that I just think too much and most of the things I take out of proportion.
tl;dr I'm struggling with relationship anxiety and nothings working, eg. therapy and talking it out with my partner.
submitted by tarotharo to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 12:00 ComfortablyMe2 Never good enough.

Every person I’ve ever pursued romantically has told me I’m not good enough. Not directly. But always with their actions. I’m always good enough to be around. I’m a good time and people like being around me. Everybody wants to be friends with me, but no one wants to really know me. I have tons of friends but no deeper relationships. Every person I’ve ever pursued has given me some excuse, told me that they think I’m great, and then gotten with someone else. Happened again last night. A friend I’ve had for years who I thought maybe our relationship was worth trying to escalate. I told them I was interested in going in some dates with them and seeing where things went, but they told me they’d gone on a single date with a person they’d just met and wanted to see where that went first. Then they’d love to try with me if it failed. Like I’m a backup plan. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, just the freshest. Before this, I had a friends with benefits relationship that lasted several months and went really well so I tried to escalate it to a real relationship. They told me they’d been messaging a person they went to high school with and would rather see if something could work with them. They went on a date and kissed but then that person started dating someone else, so they came back to me. I told them what they did hurt me and they said we should probably just end things. Why am I never good enough for anyone? What’s so broken about me that I’m always a fall back? I just want to feel like someone genuinely wants me. Like I’m enough for someone. If I had that I think I could be happy. But since I don’t, I can’t...
submitted by ComfortablyMe2 to lonely [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 11:31 bfturnedoffnotifi My[F26] boyfriend of 1 year[M27] texted his ex and hid it from me

Apology in advance, this will be a long one.
Boyfriend (let's call him Dan) and I met at work and started off as really good friends, we were both in relationships at the time. Dan's girlfriend dumped him after 8 years together and he of course was devastated. I was there for him, supporting him and being a safe space to went to at work. I watched him literally going through the 7 stages of grief, from shock and denial to acceptance, to mourn his broken relationship. Around 5 months later my relationship also ended and he returned the favour by supporting me. 2 months after my breakup and 7 months after his, we started dating. Covid happened and our office made us work from home. To avoid commuting through public transport to each others homes, Dan suggested that I would temporarily move into his apartment and we could quarantine together. I have lived with him since and things have overall been going really well. Since we were close friends we already had a good communication base. He said "I love you" first after 6 months together, we spend time with each others families and are talking about future plans, kids house and all that.
Dan knows I'm a bit insecure when it comes to exes due to previous experiences in other relationships. When we started dating I told him I was concerned that it might be too soon for him to be in a serious relationship. He mentioned that he wishes his ex well, has no contact with her since months back (I know this is true, he even unfollowed her on all social media), has no resentment but that he feels like it's a finished chapter of his life and that there is nothing left to get out of that relationship. When he ran into his ex while being on the phone with me and told me he had to hang up, be polite and say hi to her, I told him that it made me a bit uncomfortable, but that I understand that it stems from my insecurities from my past and are my issues to deal with and not his.
At his birthday he was showing me something on his phone at work and suddenly we see that his ex is calling him. I understood that she just wanted to wish him happy birthday and asked "Aren't you gonna pick up?" and he said "No it's fine" and was suddenly in a rush to leave saying "I need to return my laptop to my desk". I brought this up later saying that I obviously knew that he was in a rush to call her back and that I would have preferred if he was honest with me instead of making up some bull excuse. He aplogized and said he didn't wan't me to feel worried about calling her since it didn't mean anything. This was back in January and I haven't seen anything from his ex since then. Since we are working from home we are together almost all the time. He doesn't talk about her much other than mentioning her when it's relevant to the conversation. He is very open with his phone, sends texts in front of me, scrolls through his messenger history often with no sight of her and hasn't really given me any reason to worry about her.
Until yesterday. Like I mentioned, Dan has never been secretive about his phone with me. But yesterday I noticed something was off. He was hiding the phone screen from me a lot. Not using Messenger at all and acting weird. We are in a group chat together with friends and I noticed that when I was getting notifications from the group chat he got nothing, which was strange since his phone usually goes crazy when people write in the chat. I started mentioning what people were discussing in the chat and noticed that he wouldn't open Messenger to check the messages, which is the opposite of his usual behaviour. Dan and I have this lame thing where we sometimes text each other heart emojis when we sit next to each other on the couch and the receiver looks back and smiles at the other person. Since I was already suspicious I tried sending him a heart to see if he would get a notification or open Messenger, but nothing. I noticed him going through all of his social media apps on his phone except Messenger, despite the logo having a big red 3 indicating he had unread messages.
By this time I knew something was up and I had a strong feeling it had to do with his ex. I went on her Facebook profile and saw that it was her birthday and immediately knew he had wished her a happy birthday and hid it from me. I decided to confront him, telling him "I've noticed you're acting weird and your notifications are turned off. I also know what date it is today. I think you know what I'm talking about". He answered "...Yes.... yes I know what you're talking about" and started explaining that he knows I'm insecure about exes and that he thought if I saw him getting notifications from his ex I would feel hurt and it would cause conflict. He picked up his phone and showed me the text conversation.
Now, the texts were completely innocent and platonic. Just a "Happy birthday! Hope your day will be great! :)" and her asking how he is doing nowadays during Covid and him mentioning that he is working from home but still doing alright, and that was pretty much it. He admitted what he did was wrong, apologized, said that he never meant to hurt me and promised that he will always be honest from now on. I accepted his apology, all was good and we went to bed.
Today however, I have this knot in my stomach and am on the verge of tears. I think I was so focused on how to word myself yesterday and how to deal with the topic that I didn't even take the time to process how all of this actually made me feel. In a way I feel like I'm overreacting. He owed up to his mistake, didn't deny anything, showed me the texts without me even having to ask for it and he wrote nothing inappropriate to her. There is not really much more that he can do now. On the other hand I have this nagging feeling of being betrayed. It's not the fact that he texted her. It's the fact that he made a conscious decision to hide it from me and went through all of this trouble just so he could talk to her for a bit. It makes me feel like having a good relationship on good terms with her is more important to him than having an honest relationship with me, like I'm less of a priority. Had he just said "Btw it's ex's birthday today so I'm just gonna send her a text!" I would have been over it in 5 minutes. I have never said that he can't contact her, just that I want him to be transparent, and he failed to to that. It also makes me uneasy that he says he did it not to hurt me, as if I'm somehow to blame for all this.
I'm not even sure what I'm expecting from this post. I guess I just want to know if I'm overreacting and it's not really that big of a deal? I have no plans on breaking up with him. This is the only fuckup he made so far and it is the best relationship I've had. Perhaps I just need some time to process it? Should I just try to go on like nothing happened?
TLDR; Boyfriend texted his ex for her birthday and turned off notifications on his phone so I wouldn't notice her replying and hid his phone from me all day instead of just being honest about it. Not sure if I'm overreacting or not.
submitted by bfturnedoffnotifi to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 11:27 Radioxctive Need some relationship advice.

Let me just start by saying I'm 28 years old and I recently discovered I'm bisexual (last year, to be precise). So, I only dated guys my whole life but I met this cute girl on November and it just happened! I fell in love, even when she was like 6-7 hours away from me.
We've been dating for almost 6 months now and it probably doesn't seem like a lot, especially because I like long and stable relationships, but up until recently, I felt everything was going pretty good between us.
Thing is, I visited her in her city roughly 3 weeks ago, because she said she wanted to meet in person and she seemed so excited that I just went for it, because as I said, I thought our relationship was going alright! I was in her city for a week and we spent the whole time together. I just confirmed I love her and that I was completely lost for her and I believed it was something mutual, but then, reality hit.
I came back to my city and she started acting all weird. We used to talk all the time over discord, like all day if we could at her request and after I visited, we've barely talked, it's like we just lost that. Also, she asked me to leave her alone for some days, saying she needed space because we were together for so long and she wanted to breathe. Of course, I didn't take this too well, but I tried to understand and gave her what she needed, only to have her back like two days later, sending me cute messages as if nothing happened.
I replied with the same love and affection, but the fact that she seemed so off after I was there, lead me to ask if everything was fine between us. I even told her that if she didn't feel comfortable around me or didn't feel any chemistry between us or just didn't like my psysical appearance, she could tell me the truth and we could go on being just friends (the thought of it hurt me, but I know that if it's not there it won't be ever). She just said that I was being paranoid and I was overthinking the situation (I tend to do that a lot) and everything was fine between us.
Now, you may ask, then what's the problem? Well, problem is that I still think she's acting a little weird, she evades conversation with me or isn't interested in getting in a call anymore. After I was there, I just realized how little we have talked after I came back, even when we couldn't be apart before. She even finds the smallest things to argue about, as if everything I do, bothers her and I honestly don't know what can I do or where do I stand. I've tried to talk to her about this but she just dismissed it with the same argument «you're just overthinking», but I can't avoid thinking that maybe she's not as invested as before because something changed after we met and she probably doesn't have the courage to break up with me because she doesn't wanna hurt me, so she picks up fights as often as she can so I'll get tired and leave her.
So, do you think I'm being too paranoic about this? Is this the way most girls behave? What should I do? As I stated, she's my first girlfriend and I really don't know how to act around a girl. I'm still trying to learn about her but I really don't know if this is typical or it isn't. What do you all think?
TLTR; I started dating my first girlfriend 6 months ago. It is a LDR but I visited her for the first time 3 weeks ago and now I feel like everything changed between us: we barely talk in a daily basis when we used to do it all the time and she argues with me about the smallest and stupidest things she can find. What should I do? Is it something typical?
submitted by Radioxctive to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 11:21 Kaito-Jin I get emotionally attached very fast and tend to overthink

I get emotionally attached to easily and can’t help me but overthink stuff.
I (26M) fall easily in love and get attached pretty fast. I don’t know why but every time I meet someone I tend to fall for them really fast and when I do I can’t stop thinking about them. It’s like every time I sense some kind of positivity from a person I cling on to them...I have been always like this but in the past 4 years it got worse.
I met someone two years ago and I really liked her and she liked me. I used to have an alcohol problem so every time I would get drunk and think about her. I got jealous about stupid things like her being online and not replying to me or asking her over and over if she is texting with other guys. I know that’s extrem possessive of me and I went all control freak on her. She even told me that I acted like this. I said I was sorry and I wouldn’t do it anymore but she told me I wouldn’t stop because that’s the way I think.
She was right. My messed up head played many scenarios which mostly would never happen but I couldn’t help myself. Always overthinking stuff. She later friendzoned me and I think it’s because of that behavior of mine. I pushed her away with this. We are still texting every day but she sees me more like a best friend which is fine by me. I still do really like her, she knows I guess but I’m not sure. I haven’t told her tho.
So today I saw that one guy commented a pic of her and he tried to hit on her but she let him down. I texted her how “mean” she was towards him and she was like “what should have done differently?” and I told her to text him back. She later told me that she used to date that guy and my head did again it’s thing. The last time she told me about her exes it got to me idk why. I got really depressed and I tried to kill myself a day later. I got jealous about a guy she isn’t even romantically interested in and it got to me like that.
I know that’s not normal and I don’t want to think like this anymore. I don’t want to get attached like this ever again but I can’t help myself.
I still do really like her and want to keep that friendship but I don’t want to get depressed every time she mentions another guy or something.
I don’t know how to deal with tbh I’d appreciate any advice, thank you in advance!
submitted by Kaito-Jin to depression [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 11:08 empty_hatred I’ve tried, but I’ve lost my faith in women.

If you read all this, THANK YOU. It means so much just to be heard. I was raised by my grandmother, I respect women highly. I am not a misogynist. I was taught to be kind and courteous. But yet my issues persist.
Every girl I’ve ever liked or opened up to has disappointed me or worse. Even just friends or female relatives. I’m at a point now where I do not trust women in general and am considering being alone for the foreseeable future.
The issue isn’t my standards, I’ve never been able to pull any females in the upper echelon except in rare circumstances. I’ve given ugly girls just as many chances as the pretty ones.
I’m also a pretty varied individual. I have many hobbies, interests, and life skills and I’m in pretty decent shape (5’10 170-190). I try pretty hard not to be prejudiced and I’m far from self centered. I don’t really have a taste or a type, I like people who show positive character traits. I’ve been called handsome or cute but to be honest I’m not the best looking guy. I’m fairly independent, I am proud to say I can cook my ass off, I clean after myself, I pay my bills, etc.
I did not have a great upbringing and to a degree it has caused me to be very solitary and mistrusting. My relationship with my mother is strained at best. Any female relatives close to my age were always pretty rude to me. As far as relationships go, every time I’ve let a girl in she showed me it was a mistake. In my early teen years, I only really got any attention from total sluts or girls who weren’t as “strong with the force” if you catch my drift. The others would ignore me, or ghost me, or just straight up tell me I had no chance. As I got older and began having sexual experiences, my faith waned. I’ll list a few examples.
• The girl who took my virginity. I gave her more of myself than most, but she was extremely toxic and had a terrible attitude problem. Her family told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her, and begged me to stay with her. She was more trouble than she was worth.
•The first girl whose virginity I took. We had a great bond. But she was a whore. Before she met me, it was more in a flirtatious way. I did not pick up on it. But after I took her virginity she started fucking everyone. Years later she would cheat on her bf with me and then ghost me to run back to him. That’s when I was certain of what she truly was.
• The first girl who pursued me. We met in high school. She took one look at me and followed me to my classroom. She was obsessed. She was very very pretty with an amazing body. We talked for a while and started to date. She wasn’t the brightest, but I’m a bit of a brainiac myself so I’ve learned to lower my expectations a bit. She gave no signs of any negative character traits. But soon after we began dating, I began hearing tales from just about everyone, including her closest friends, about how she was a major whore and just about everything she told me on a day to day basis was a lie. I felt bamboozled yet again. She took my kindness for weakness and took shelter within it. This is around the time I began to close up.
•The girl who tried to cry rape. I reconnected with a girl who had a crush on me back in middle school on instagram. We spoke for a time, then she started wanting to hang out with me occasionally. I was young (17) and far too naive. After we hung out more than a few times, things got romantic. She would come over and slowly strip out of her clothes, she was comfortable that way. She was a virgin however, so it didn’t register as a red flag. But she would want to perform increasingly sexual acts without actually having sex. She was always a bit stubborn when it came to pleasing me, doing just enough to string me along, but never enough to satisfy me. One day she decided she wanted it. She began to undress me, unbuttoning my pants first. I asked her if she was sure, and she said yes. When I tore her hymen she was in very obvious pain so I pulled out immediately. Not much bleeding. I got her some water and took her to get some food then I walked her home as she asked me to. She blocked me afterwards. A few days later my mother gets a call from local police saying I’ve been accused of rape. I went down to the precinct and my mother spoke to a detective while I sat in a police office alone for around two hours. The only thing said to me was by one male detective “did you do it?” I responded that I didn’t and he left me alone. They threw the whole case out soon after, something about her story not adding up, I wonder why. Never heard from her or the police after that. I saw her a few times when I was just out and about, I made sure to cross the street. The hatred and betrayal I felt after that was immeasurable. Its a large part in why I can’t trust women.
• The ghost. I met this one girl on Facebook. She noticed how closed off I was and tried to offer me help. I wanted no part of it. But she was very uplifting, her bright aura was impossible to ignore for very long. We met in person and sat over a cliffside, watching the sunset and talking about life. I let myself be vulnerable in that moment, and it was a mistake. She was very responsive up until then, but afterwards she would disappear for weeks at a time. Each time she’d return, assuring me that she was just very busy and didn’t text much but that she had my best interests at heart. But she was on social media every day posting sharing the whole nine yards. Her novelty had worn off on me. I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her and to this day I am extremely distant towards her.
• The friends girl. I met her in middle school but we weren’t really friends then. In high school, she got really close with a friend of mine but they would flip flop between seeing each other and being friends, while telling everyone they were just friends. I had a falling out with him and my other buddies, and despite me shutting her out multiple times, she was always so understanding and she was there for me with advice or even just listening. We discovered that we had a lot in common, and things got romantic for a while. She told me out of the blue one day that she didn’t want to talk anymore. Fast forward 6 months, I had made up with my friends, and found out she went back to my boy, played him for someone else, and him being a simp he went back to her again shortly after we had another falling out. They are together now. I’ve learned my lesson, NEVER TALK TO GIRLS WHO WERE INVOLVED WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN ANY CAPACITY.
• The undesirable. I chose to lower my standards a bit, and began talking to this very obese girl who had a raging crush on me for years. She was nice enough, but desperate for attention. I decided I’d show her what she’d been missing. Even started flirting a bit. Not even a week later I hear from a mutual friend that she’d been telling her word for word what we were speaking about. I guess she was so excited to be talking to someone that she couldn’t keep her mouth shut, but the lack of privacy is an immediate dealbreaker for me, I never spoke to her again. So much for having low standards.
There were many girls who weren’t liars or whores, who would just ghost me or leave me for a more desirable guy ( ive never really been what you’d call cool) some were very nice and wholesome but they had very unrealistic expectations of men, some would lead me on pointlessly but I wanted to list the more traumatic ones. I’m tired of the heartache.
I also feel like the dating scene is skewed heavily towards women. Men have to approach women, find a way to separate themselves from the dozens of other dudes hitting on her, keep her interested, be good in bed, have money/canice clothes/charisma, pay for dates, when in many cases women can get by barely showing any interest, or laying there like a dead log in bed, having no money/ambition/interesting traits/work ethic/compassion, just off of looking half decent. I KNOW ALL WOMEN ARE NOT LIKE THIS. But ANY guy can tell you they know women just like this. You have to be really goddamn stunning or rich to pull shit like this as a guy, it’s really only the 1%.
But yeah this is my little monologue. I can’t bring myself to open up to a female any more. I pray the world will show me different. But I’ve lost faith. Thank you for your time and if you are a woman I’d love to hear your opinion.
submitted by empty_hatred to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 11:07 Usedtobme I may have noticed the most toxic trait about the way I love

Or maybe it's still the fact that I am not a whole person yet on my one still that is my biggest toxicity. It could also be the fast that in the time we've spent apart I thought I fell out of love with you. I felt no connection between us. We hardly even kissed. Things kind of just felt like words, I was going to leave but then again I had a feeling this was the way I was as well so I stayed. In the end I can never really fully trust my feelings. Feelings are never a true constant. Feelings are never the same. You felt different before then now. I think now I'm going to watch myself more to see how I change for someone to really show myself how much I feel. Because if I care I'll change.
I felt so disconnected from you. Kissing you wasn't the same. But then when you start talking to me. The magic happens again and boom goes my heart for you. Out of everyone I've dated I cant really. ......damn fucked up thought. Can I really say I love you the most? I've changed the most with you and my body and heart and even my energy react to you so strongly....can I really say I love you more than Alonso? Yes I can, but only in the instance of now. I love you romantically but alonso will always be that one person that I feel fits in my reality the best. But do I love him as much as you, no. I love and respect you a lot more than him. I learned from him to respect you without making the mistakes I did with him. That's why I won't cheat on you and just fuck everything up. Plus the main number 1 fact of me not being attracted to anyone hardly ever. My sex drive is high but I don't fuck, I truly make love to that one person even if it's not the best sex for me; it's always....tired. Very tired. I want to sleep now. Alonso I miss you but I never want to be with you again. Truc I love you but sometimes I don't want to be with you either. But thank you for tonight...
submitted by Usedtobme to u/Usedtobme [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:50 Legendary__Beaver I'm super anxious to go on a date with a girl

It probably sounds like some high school drama crap and it pretty much is. I’m a 25 male and the past couple years I’ve been living at home due to being depressed about dropping out of college. I was a carpenter for a couple years, kinda liked it but really hated my boss, he let me go which was the best thing for me. I went back to school and I was able to get my bachelors degree. I studied aviation and business but my degree is just a bachelor of science. I’ve always sucked at school but I was proud to finish my undergrad.
I graduated this past spring and had plans to go into the aviation industry. I instead have been studying the A+ and intending to go into IT then cyber security or elsewhere. I honestly failed my first attempt at the 1001 exam and I know a lot of people do but it just made me second guess everything and if this is even what I want to do. So I don’t really know right now at this moment what the fuck kind of career I want to go into. I feel like I’ve flipped flopped so much and now I’m 25 and back with my parents. I’m currently applying for call center jobs that pay $12-$15 an hour for experience. Not ideal at all. I do ref hockey. I make decent money from that also and it’s something I really enjoy doing.
Anyway, since I’ve been back home I haven’t even considered dating a girl around here because I’m embarrassed. I should be in a better position career wise and I’m dead in the water. All I do these days is apply for jobs with not much luck.
I don’t know if anyone is gonna read this at all and that’s cool. But I do smoke pot and it’s legal here. I have been cutting back but not enough. I only smoke pot, I don’t smoke cigs or really drink. I sleep in the basement and it’s an unfinished basement. If you couldn’t tell I’m pretty damn high writing this as well. It’s also 3:40am.
I’ve accepted I’m someone who can have great days then I’ll have chill or sad days. Idk it could be my environment. I go outdoors and kayak fish a lot and love it. I love the outdoors and hiking.
I’m getting really side tracked here. I wanna give you a background of me and what I’ve felt like I haven’t been doing much with my life. It bums me out. My issue is that I smoke too much. I need to chill on that and I’ll be so much better. I just get bummed out when I smoke a lot.
So my confidence is not great right now. I’m a cool and calm kind of guy. I can be quiet but in situations like a date I can be great or not. We met on bumble, she finished graduate school in Minnesota and I guess she lived in Dallas for a while and moved back home due to COVID. She’s working around here but I haven’t really asked what’s she’s doing for work.
Now I’ve been using these dating apps for years and I’ve only gone on one date with a girl from one and that was it really. I don’t really try and date girls online since idk the conversations don’t really lead anywhere. This girl and I will send 1-2 messages to each other daily and they’re kinda like stories. We’ve been talking for about two weeks now and we have a lot of similar interests and really seem to click. I’m about to go to Florida with my mom for a month or maybe longer because she bought a house there that she intends on renting it out.
So she asks me if I wanted to grab a cup of coffee with her and of course I say yes. This girl is out of my league. She is gorgeous, great big smile, beautiful brown eyes, athletic and she seems like she has such a lovely personality. If you could picture a person that seems ideal in your head, this girl would be it for me.
Now I know you may be thinking I’m being a simp maybe idk haha or that I’ve never talked to a pretty girl before. I could be a nice guy idk I think I try to be a decent person and I have my flaws. I’ve never been someone who tries to sleep with girls I guess. I’ve always just enjoyed talking to girls and I actually had a moment where I was going on dates with different girls kinda consistent. I would ask them and sometimes I was corny and shy haha I’ve had dumb moments for sure.
But it’s been like two solid years since I’ve gone on a date. I am fuckin rusty and I get nervous even looking at her messages for some reason. I mean I really don’t have an issue with making conversation with people at all. I think I tend to feel more comfortable talking to women than men. At least with new people I guess.
I have never done anything like this before. I’ve never made a post like this and my old account is u/casual_ent33
I know if she’s not interested after the date it’s not the end of the world. It happens and you’ll meet another girl eventually or that’s what they say. It’s kinda true but I’ll admit I’m a hopeless romantic. I love the idea of being in love with someone. I know it’s not always going to be great but the idea that someone really cares for you like that and means it seems great.
submitted by Legendary__Beaver to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:48 _throwing_this_accnt My (F24) partner (M27)has been throwing away his sleep to spend time with me and it’s been wrecking his health. He won’t listen to me telling him to get sleep, even with a doctor saying to take it serious.

Obviously a throwaway account. I’ve been dating this man for over a year now. He’s getting called into work almost everyday and his schedule changes a lot. Due to this and my own schedule, we tend to only have nighttime’s to spend together.
We won’t live together, in fact we are a distanced couple. With covid going on, things have been shaky as we struggle to keep consistency going.
Lately he’s really been venting about how physically tired he is. It’s been affecting our intimacy, he’s been skipping meals to have naps, he’s just been exhausted. I always try and get him into bed earlier, I obviously want his physical health to be looked after even if it means we can’t hang out as much.
He’s extremely stubborn, aware that my love language relies heavily around quality time together and he expresses that he just generally likes being able to hear my voice and be with me after long days.
It’s what makes this harder for me. He went to the doctor recently and was told he’s starting to develop health issues from how exhausted/sleep deprived he is. I should also add that he had a severe case of covid earlier this year and it’s really impacted his physical health. He doesn’t “bounce back” as easily as he used to.
This has really affected his mood and temperament, though I don’t really blame him. I keep expressing that I really don’t mind if he skips our Discord dates to sleep, or if he starts calling me earlier in the night. I’m willing to work around this. I really love this guy. I want him to be healthy and safe.
I can tell there’s some embarrassment on his end, like he feels inadequate for not being around as much as he wants to be.
I totally understand the circumstances and have been chalking it up to some turbulence due to the weird and unsure pandemic affecting our schedules.
It’s something I feel like wouldn’t be as impactful if we were physically living together, which is something we’re both actively working towards right now.
The frustrating thing about all this is I don’t ask for him to throw away his sleep for me. Yes time together is important to me, but I’d also like to think I’m pretty reasonable as a girlfriend. I’m content with calling in the evening to say hey and vent about the day if anything happened, and then fall asleep after saying affectionate things.
I don’t ask for expensive gifts or grand gestures, I just really like HIM. Besides, I know in the future we build together we’d have lots of time to do the more gesture-y things.
This whole ordeal has left me feeling extremely guilty, like this man feels the need to throw his health away or something when I keep begging him to not. A lot of our conversations now have a decent amount of him talking about how exhausted he is and how he almost fell asleep at work, or skipped a meal to nap.
It’s to the point where I’m scared and questioning how to go on from here. I don’t know if I should just buckle down and hang on, like I seriously feel so much guilt on if I should just let him go or something.
I don’t WANT it to come to that. He’s a grown man, right? I trust him to make the call for himself on if something is too much. But he’s also stubborn as hell. So I really don’t know. I just don’t know how I could deal if he wound up hospitalized or something, I’d feel like it was all my fault.
When I say I love this man, I do. I do with all of my heart. I’ve had feelings for him for a very long time and he’s made me feel so incredibly safe and loved in our time together. We’ve talked about our future so much, it feels so close but..I know this guilt has been crushing me as well.
submitted by _throwing_this_accnt to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:46 SenaNarumiFan18 Dance Like Nobody’s Watching

The loud speaker goes off as Princpal Bump was about to get ready to give morning announcements. "Good Morning Hexide. Now then, for morning announcements. First of all, it's double homework week" He announced. The majority students groaned as they were making a bunch of complaints. Some cussed under their breathes. Some slumped their heads on their desks even banging their heads against them. A few students even started booing and heckling in distaste from the unfortunate news. Amity was some of the very few who didn't complain, because, well, she is used to studying a lot and is top student. "Alright alight enough with the boos and the hisses." Principal Bump groaned as he rolled his eyes very well aware of the kind of the reaction most students would make. "Now then, the second announcement that I want to address you all Grom is coming up. It's tonight" He said. People then started cheering, feeling excited over the special night. Grom was considered one of the most important moments of every witchling's life during their school days. Luz looked at everyone in confusion. She was still new to Hexside so she wasn't aware of the events that goes on during the school year. She then turned to one of her friends, Willow and asked. "Hey, Willow? What's Grom?" She asked "Oh Grom? Grom is a special party where we get to dress up all fancy. We eat, chat, and even dance and have fun with your friends." Willow responded with a smile. "Oh I get it. Earth has something similar to that." Luz said as she thought about it. "Wow, you have a human version of Grom where you come from?" Gus asked impressed by the fact. "Why yes. Where I'm from. There is this school wide event called prom. It's basically the same as grom. You dance, hang out, chat, and eat food with friends." Luz said as she smiled slightly. "Wow, that's soooo cool." Gus complimented with excitement as his eyes sparkled with glee. "Though, there's one problem...." Luz mumbled while rubbing one of her arms with the other looking down at her desk. "What's wrong?" Willow asked Luz in concern putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's just that...well...I can't dance..." Luz admitted with an ashamed expression on her face. "Oh really?" Gus asked. "Yeah...I got two left feet." Luz said. "Humans actually have two left feet?!" Gus asked "No Gus." Willow said slightly annoyed. "It means Luz is not that good at dancing" "Yeah that's right." Luz said. "I don't wanna embarrass myself in front of the school school and...Amity..." Luz blushed when looking over seeing Amity chatting with Boscha and a bunch of the other popular kids. Amity looked over and gives a smile and waves at her. Luz blushed and waves back. "What am I gonna do guys?" I can't go to the dance where I dance like some wounded, drunk animal." She whispered. "Maybe we can get someone to try and teach you." Gus suggested. "Yeah, why don't you guys come over with me to the Owl House. Maybe Eda can pitch in as well..." Luz suggested. "Amity is probably some dancing queen. Meanwhile, I'm a pineapple."

"Don't worry Luz...we'll turn you from a pineapple to a pineapple upside-down cake" Gus promised with a determined grin.

Meanwhile, at the Owl House, Eda was looking through some magazine for adults. She hummed in amusement. "Mmmm, now that's hot....." She smirked. Luz then kicks the door open. "Eda!" "Ahhh!" Eda hid the magazine behind her back and chuckled while smiling nervously. "Oh hey kiddo and kiddo's friends...hehe...nothing to see here..." "Eda! The Grom is coming up and I need to learn how to dance by tonight!" Luz panicked. Eda sighed as she smiled "I remembered my first grom. Where I spiked the punch and managed to get in bed with-" Eda was cut off when Luz was covering her ears. "Nobody wants to hear that!" King yelled at Eda. "Woah okay, we don't need to hear that." Gus interjected as he and Willow covered their ears. "I can't hear you! La la la la la la! ABCDEGF!" Luz sang loudly and rapidly covering her ears not wanting to hear any of Eda's 'experience'. "Can you not talk about it?" "Okay okay." Eda said in defeat putting her arms up. "Anyways...why do you need dance lessons so badly?" "This is why." Luz then started to dance and man did it look horrible. It was no human, nor natural whatsoever. It looked clumsy and awkward. Her dancing could your own mother or father seem like a better dancer in Luz. It was that bad. Eda, Gus, and Willow looked flabbergasted but not the positive kind. Eda's jaw dropped while Gus cringed while turning his head away. Willow tried to smile but it was a nervous smile as she was trying to hide her cringe. King however did not hide his disgusted look on his face. There was complete silence. It was so silent that you could hear crickets chirping. Hooty then pops his head over next to Luz "Hoot. Look on the bright side Luz. The crickets seem to like it." That was a complete lie. On the edge of an open window, you can see two crickets. You can't hear them or see them that well but the two crickets were covering their eyes with their little legs. They were no pleased. "My eyes. I can't see." One of the crickets complained as he covers his eyes. "I can't unsee." The other cricket whined as he flailed his legs. They both screamed. "Goodbye cruel world!" The wailed falling out of the window. "Uhhhhhhhh....don't worry kiddo. I'm sure with a lesson from the dancing queen, you will be a dance expert. Plus, the men and ladies will be breaking down the door for you." Eda smirked while doing a few dance moves. "Oh really? Who?" Luz asked with a smile. "Me ya ding dong." Eda answered in a slightly annoyed toned. "You dance Ms. Owl Lady?" Willow asked curiously "I was the life of the party." Eda stated as she made a cool pose. "I bet I can show off a few moves." "Probably not. Ya might throw out your hip." King chuckled as he smirked. "I'll have you know pipsqueak that I'm in phenomenal shape for my age!" Eda yelled at King as she shook her fists. "Now then, I think I have a paper with a few dances I could teach you." She said as she got a few papers which were rolled up into scrolls. She then took one of them and then closes her eyes. "Behold greatness!" She thought that she got the one with the dance moves but that was far from it and was wrong on so many levels. Eda didn't realize she got the wrong one. Instead, it was a picture of some hot anime girl in a bikini making a rather seductive pose. The girl had a nice body. Hour glass figure, flat stomach. long legs, sparkly eyes, huge breasts. It was picture from a dirty magazine that Eda owns. (Oh, pretend you hear some seductive saxophone music) Luz's eyes widen as she saw the image that was displayed in front of her. She the screamed at the top of her lungs and covers her eyes. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My eyes! I can't unsee! It burns! It burns!" Gus screamed as well as he was flailing his arms around as if he were blind. "Ahhhhhh! I'm blind! I'm blind!" he wailed. Willow was on the floor. She was curled up into a ball as she quivered and whimpered. She rocks back and forth and mumbled. "Goodbye childhood...." "Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!" King started to do his shriek of terror letting out a tea kettle sounding scream as he covers his eyes. Eda opens her eyes and looked at the four in pure confusion as she tilted her head. "Why the heck is everyone freaking-oh my gosh wrong paper. Hehe. My bad." She looked and realized that it was the wrong paper. She blushed of embarrassment and crumples it up and tosses it somewhere. She then gets another paper. "Okay I think this is it." Eda said as she unrolls the new paper. Once again, not the dance papers. It was a picture of Principal Bump naked in the shower wearing a shower cap. He had a horrified expression on his face as he tries to cover himself with the shower curtain. It was even more traumatizing than the bikini girl. You could never unsee it. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!" Luz wailed as she covered her eyes with one hand and had her arm out with the other making a stop sign with her hand. She then goes to a corner and puts her hood on. "My eyes are bleeding!" Gus wailed as he covers his eyes as he sticks out his tongue. King gagged as he ran to a bucket and started vomiting in it. "How did you even get that photo?!" Willow passed out due to disgust. She mumbled. "Gross......I can now never see Principal Bump the same way ever again" Eda panicked as she realized that this one was also the wrong paper and then gagged. She crumpled it up. "Eda! Burn them!" Luz yelled. Eda used a fire spell to burn the two photos. "Okay forget the blue prints, maybe I should just give you instructions verbally."

"Please." Luz wailed. "but uhhhhh.....can my friends and I get our eyeballs flushed? Or better yet, do have holy water here or a memory forgetting spell?"

A while later after everyone calmed down from the, traumatizing incident from earlier, they were outside ready to give Luz her dance lesson. Willow and Gus along with King were sitting down to watch Eda and Luz. "Dance it up Luz!" Gus and Willow cheered. "Yeah shake that booty!" King cheered. "Alright kiddo, let's when I'm through with ya. You and Amity will be locking lips by the end of the night." Eda said with a smirk Luz blushed and got flustered at what she said and dirty thoughts popped into her head. "Bleh! Ugh! Come on!" King yelled as he shook his fist, not being a huge fan of romance. "Oh grow up pipsqueak. You're gonna feel love one day." Eda said to King. "I will not! I'm demon overlord who doesn't need a girlfriend!" King yelled stomping his little foot. "You say that now." Eda responded in a teasing sing song voice. She then turns back to Luz. "Okay kiddo. First things first. Lesson 1. First ya need to know how to real in some chicks." Eda said and the points at some attractive looking witch woman. "Watch and learn. Ya might wanna take notes." She turns to Gus, King, and Willow. "That goes for you guys too since you all look like the type who never had their first kiss yet." Eda then walked to the woman and makes a pose. "Hello beautiful? Nice chest. How about you and I hang sometime." The woman ended slapping Eda across her face leaving a red hand mark on her cheek. That was a silent yet definite no. The lady huffed as she walked away, appalled. Luz, Willow, Gus, and King all cringed and even groaned slightly at the sight. Luz had one eye closed. Eda groaned as she walked back to the others. She then gives a big smile "So guys....what have you learned from that exercise?"

Luz, King, Gus, and Willow bluntly responded in more of a question than a statement. "Don't do what you did?"

"Lesson 2. Ballroom dancing. There will be some slow songs playing during grom and you need to know how to lead and sweep a girl off her feet." Eda said. She turns to Willow, Gus, and King. "Which one of you freeloaders wanna be Luz's partner?" Willow, Gus, and King cringed and flails their arms saying things like 'no thanks', 'I'm good', and 'not happening', and 'absolutely not' Willow was trying to smile to try and be polite. "Here why don't you practice with the Owl Staff." Eda hands the staff to Luz. "Well okay." Luz mumbled grabbing the staff. "1 2 3. 1 2 3." Eda counted. Luz was struggling with the dancing. She then tripped on some rock making her roll and have her head into an ant hill with a ton of fire ants. She pops her head out of the hole and screamed in bloody murder. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Burns! It burns!" She yelled as Willow, King, and Gus dumps buckets of water on her.

Eda cringed and facepalmed.

"Lesson 3. Footwork with fast non touching dancing." Gus said as he then shows a few simple moves. Luz tries to copy them but ends up tripping and falling on her face. "Ow....." She whined.

"What exactly are you trying to accomplish?!" King asked

"Alright. Lesson 4. Rhythm." King was drumming on a drum making a beat. Luz was doing the same thing but was having a very hard time with keeping the beat consistent. Somehow she accidentally banged her foot with the drumstick "OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Eda and King tried not to laugh as Willow and Gus cringed.

"Now for lesson four. Freestyle." Willow said. "Dancing to express yourself in your own unique way." Eda, Gus, Willow, and even King took their turns dancing having fun. When it was Luz's turn to dance, everyone went silent. Luz was dancing as if she were a flailing fish on a dock that just got fished. She was then dancing as if she were zapped by some sort of taser. She was then doing some cringy looking mating call like dance and strikes an awkward pose. "Tada!" Hooty pops his head next to Luz. "That....was pretty terrible." He said. Luz groaned. "I'm never gonna learn to be a good dancer." She groaned. "Maybe I should just skip the grom." Eda thinks of something and snaps her fingers. "I've got it. The answer was hidden under my nose this entire time." She said "What?!" Willow and Gus asked. "I can just make Luz a potion to make her a good dancer." Eda said. "Why didn't you suggest that in the first place?!" Luz asked annoyed.

"It slipped my mind." Eda said in defense.

A little bit later, Eda, King, Luz, Gus, and Willow were all back in the Owl house into then kitchen. Eda had a big pot, a book of potions, and a bunch of ingredients that is required for this dancing spell. Luz, King, Willow, and Gus were adding the ingredients as Eda was mixing them together. Eda takes a potion bottle and scoops up some of the potion from the pot and hands it over to Luz. "Alright kiddo, bottoms up." She said Luz nodded and then takes the potion and drinks it up. She felt this tingly feeling. "Did it work?" She asked. "There's only one to find out." Willow said. Luz nodded and makes an attempt to dance. The potion worked. Luz was dancing like a hip hop dance queen. "Yeeeeah!" Gus cheered. "Well I'll be danged." Eda laughed. "Yes thanks you guys." Luz said. "Guys grom starts soon we gotta go!" Gus panicked. Everyone screamed and ran around scrambling. ================================================================================ At Hexide A bunch of the students in Hexside were dancing and having fun with each other. They were all dressed up in suits and dresses. Willow wore a green dress as Gus wore a black tuxedo with a blue tie. Luz decided to wear a tuxedo and wanted to add in a tutu to make it feel more like her. Eda wore a red dress as King wore a red bow tie. Eda had volunteered to be the chaperone of the school dance. "Why do I have to attend this gushy kissy dance?" King asked "Cuz I'm chaperoning and I can't trust you at home alone with Hooty. Remember last time?" Eda responded. "Fine, but I'm not dancing with any girl. Bleh!" King said as he stuck his tongue. Luz was in the gymnasium of the school. She looked around. She spots Amity. "Alright Luz, there's Amity. Just go up to her and ask her for a dance." She mumbled "You've practiced your butt off for this and let's make this pay off." But she couldn't move an inch. She was sweating bullets. She turned to Willow and Gus "Guys I cant do this. I feel like fainting" Luz whimpered. Amity was standing idly in the middle of the school's gymnasium. She stood near Boscha and few other friends. They were all chatting together, but Amity wasn't paying much attention to them. She found herself thinking only of one thing. That human, Luz. Before Grom night, Amity desperately wanted to ask Luz to be her date, but she couldn't work up the courage. She didn't even know if Luz was coming to Grom or not. Now, she stood silently, just zoning out. That was until she made eye contact with a familiar face. "Is that... Luz?" Amity mumbled to herself. "Eda, Gus, Willow, King. Amity is over there. What do I do?" Luz whispered to them "Do I just go up and say hi or ask her to dance or. I don't know what I'm suppose to do. Last time I try to ask a girl to dance with me. She slapped my face and left leaving me humiliated and people pointing at me. It's probably gonna be like that all over again" she whispered After exchanging a brief moment of eye contact with Luz, Amity panicked and swiftly turned away, trying to conceal herself in her group of friends. Her face was a blushing mess. She wasn't expecting Luz to actually be here. Maybe the world was trying to give her a sign or something. Maybe this is her second chance to ask Luz to be her date. Eda pats Luz's back. "Kiddo, you are the queen of this dance floor. Now get out there and ask that special lady to dance with you." She laughed Luz gulped and then slowly started to walk. "Get it girl!" Eda cheered pumping her fist. Luz continued to walk but disaster approaches. A handsome looking guy goes to Amity and smirked and offers a hand "Hey Amity? May I have this dance?" He asked with a charming smile that would make anyone blush and fall for him. Most would swoon right into his arms at the thought of dancing with such a person, but Amity knew where her priorities were. Besides, she never really had much of an attraction to boys anyways. "Ehm.. sorry, but I already have someone who I want to dance with" Amity stated bluntly and relatively loudly. "Oh but who wouldn't want to dance with me?" The boy asked "Wait! Amity! Dance with me!" Luz said walking to them "I challenge you to a dance off!" People gasped "Is she serious?!" King asked Eda "Dance off! Dance off! Humans have dance offs?! That's cool." Gus said "I accept." The guy smirked as Luz and the guy glares at each other People were chanting "Dance off! Dance off!" Amity was stunned. Luz wanted to dance with her? And Luz would even have a dance off just for her. Amity snapped back to reality. Everyone was hyped. The DJ was blasting music and the crowd was chanting loudly. Gus, Willow, and Eda stood close behind Luz. "You've got this Luz!" Willow excited whispered to Luz. "Yeah kiddo! Kick that guys butt, haha!" Eda laughed. "Yeah! Take that guy to school!" King yelled "Mess him up so bad and Make him so that he can never get back up!" "Go Luz!" Gus yelled Luz nodded and then started to do some hip hop dancing that she learned. She did pretty good. She did some shuffling and some spins and posed "Hmm, not bad. For a human..." one of Boscha's friends said "Wow! A solid effort by Luz Noceda!" Principal Bump said Luz panted as she smiled as she sees Amity look impressed with her moves. "Now let's see how this handsome stallion will respond." Principal Bump said The unnamed, handsome man brushed his shoulders off and smirked. He did a few amateur dance moves, none of which seemed to be of any particular style. His dancing wasn't revolutionary, but his looks seemed to make up for his moves. He then goes into this complex looking break dance. Eda, Gus, King, and Willow gasped in shock and had a look of fear. "Oh no." Eda groaned. The guy was doing some windmills and some head spins. He then winks at Amity and then leaps in the air and posed The crowd was enthralled. Boscha shuffled up to where Amity was standing stiffly. "I saw that guy walk up to you. Did he ask you to dance? Lucky!" Boscha said to Amity. Amity was silent. Boscha noticed that the young witch seemed focused on only one thing. That human. "Well, that's it, we're done." King said bluntly with a deadpan expression "Well...we did our best." Gus said. "And isn't that what's important?" Willow asked. "What the heck type of loser talk is that?!" Eda asked Luz's body then glows an aura meaning that the potion's effects has worn off. "Oh man, the potion wore off." She groaned. "I forgot to tell you, the potion is only temporary." Eda mumbled. "Now you tell us?!" King groaned. Luz frowns and was about to walk away but then thinks of something "This ain't over yet. Time to express myself in my own unique way." She mumbled and walked to amity and the guy "Oh no. Don't tell me she's gonna...." Willow whimpered. "Yes she is. Guess the kid's got confidence." Eda laughed. "I can't look. Tell me when it's over." Gus said as he and King covers their eyes Luz then said "Hey Amity. There's something I wanted to tell you but I can't tell ya. But I can show ya. Hit it." Luz said The DJ puts on a song Luz then started to do some cringy horrible dance moves which looked horrifying, not human, and unnatural. People were watching in disgust. Luz then takes some sort of potion that she carried around and puts it on herself and screams as she started to catch on fire. She then grabs the punch bowl and dumps it on her herself "Tada!" Luz said as she panted People were dead silent "Is it safe to look yet?" Gus asked Willow and Eda "Yeah is it?" King asked them. "No idea." Eda said covering her eyes. "Can't tell ya." Willow said covering her eyes. "It's pretty obvious who the winner is...." the DJ said People were mumbling that it's the guy and it's no debate "Ha. Like amity would dance with some witch wannabe loser human reject." The guy said "Come on Amity. Let's not waste time with losers." He said Luz frowns and looked like she was about to cry. She then slowly started to turn away and was about to walk away regretting dancing horribly Amity stared at Luz, then at the guy, and then back to Luz. Luz's performance was undoubtedly weird, and one could argue a bit insane. But... that's what Amity liked about Luz. She wasn't afraid to be herself. Amity glanced once more at the man. "Alright, lets go dance then." Amity said. The man smirked, believing that he had finally won and this whole ordeal was over. He took Amity's hand, but as soon as the music started back up, Amity began to dance violently. People looked absolutely shocked. Top student little miss perfect Amity Blight couldn't dance they thought. She seemed to be copying the exact dance moves that Luz had done previously. Amity went even as far as to grab a tray of snacks and dump it on herself. "Still wanna dance?" Amity jokingly questioned. The man stared at her, purely dumbfounded. "Jeez... even you're crazy.." he said and quickly walked away. Amity looked away from where the man originally stood and turned to spot Luz staring at her. Amity grinned. "Oh Luz!" Amity calls as she danced horribly. It was super hard to watch. "A-amity?" Luz was shocked when she found out Amity couldn't dance for crud either. "Come on Luz. Come dance with me." Amity said as she was dancing horridly. She then wiped the tears from her eyes. Luz and Amity were in the middle of the dance floor dancing. Since they were both dancing and were doing it horribly, it was double the torture. It looked so unnatural and awkward. The room was full of mixed reactions. Eda stood cheering extremely loud next to King, Gus, and Willow. "Atta girl, Luz!" Eda yelled. Willow glanced at Gus and then back to Luz and Amity. "Uh.. yaaaay... good job Luz.." Willow halfheartedly said, as she tried to hold back her cringing. "This is not for children with eyes." Someone said covering their younger sibling eyes "Uhhhh good for you Luz...." Gus said smiling nervously feeling embarrassment "I think I'm gonna be sick." King groaned and barfs in a trashcan "My eyes are bleeding!" Jerbo said covering his eyes "I'm scared for life!" Viney whined. "Whyyy?! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!" One of Boscha's friends said One of Boscha's friends looked at Boscha to see her reaction "I can never unsee this." Someone said "My eyes!" Someone said as they covered them and ran around Edric laughed and said "Well this is something I'll never get out of brain" he said playfully Luz continued to dance terribly not caring what everyone was saying. She was just glad to dance with amity. Even if they did suck butt at it Boscha had 3 main feelings about this whole situation. Anger at Amity for associating herself with a human. Happiness that Amity finally found someone for her. And immense regret that she was born with 3 eyes and had to watch this whole situation in the first place. Her outer reaction was that she was laughing and got her scroll and records this. "Haha! What freaks. This is so going on Penstagram. Those dorks were made for each other. Emira stood next to Edric and laughed. "Yep! But at least we'll have some blackmail for when Amity tries to snitch on us." Amity was having the time of her life just simply dancing with Luz. "Let's get out of here!" One of Boscha's friends "Those two freaks were made for each other. I don't wanna watch this freak show any longer!" "I can't keep watching. Tell me when it's over." King said covering his eyes Gus was covering his eyes The music stops "Alright! That's enough of that! Pack it up! Dance is over! Everyone go home!" Principal Bump said Luz eventually stops dancing as she pants and sweated A bit She looked at Amity "Hey Amity...why?" She asked as a way of asking why she would actually be willing to dance with her and was surprised that Amity couldn't dance either. Amity stared at Luz, and timidly smiled. "W-well, your always so outgoing and true to yourself that.. I guess I wanted to see how that felt," Amity blushed and averted her gaze, "and I guess I have been wanting to ask you to dance with me for a while now." Most of the people left within like under 30 seconds. They literally sprinted out not wanting to see anything more of traumatizing stuff "Let's get out of here Boscha!" One of Boscha's friends "Those two freaks were made for each other. I don't wanna watch this freak show any longer!" Boscha's friends started leaving and waits for Boscha "Is it over? Is the trama over? Is it safe to look?" King and Gus asked "All clear." Edric said as King and Gus uncovered their eyes "I kinda wanted to ask ya as well. And I thought that you probably want someone like popular and good looking and a good dancer." Luz said as she blushed and looked away Boscha was conflicted on how she felt. On one hand, she was happy her friend seemed so joyful. On the other hand, with a human?! Boscha stared at Amity and Luz for a couple more moments before she turned to follow the rest of her friend group out. "I'll deal with this another time..". Willow glanced at Luz and Amity talking to each other. "Well, what now..?" Eda started grabbing all the leftover trays of snacks, and shoved them all into one large bag. "We leave the love birds to chat it out." Eda stated simply, as she slung the bag of foodstuffs over her shoulder. Amity gently grabbed Luz's wrists and laughed softly. "That stuff doesn't mean anything to me" Amity smiled. "Alright then, but first let's set the mood" Gus then turned on some slow dance music Luz blushed when hearing Amity say that and then blushed even more when hearing the slow dance music. "Hey uh, how about a slow dance? I mean after all, I could dance with you for hours and hours" Amity's eyes widened and her heart pounded. She had so much she wanted to say but the only coherent sentence she could stutter out was, "O-of course". Amity forced herself to calm down, but she was undoubtedly excited. Gently, she put her hands on Luz's shoulders. "No offense amity but you were the last person I expected to dance....well like me." Luz said as a she chuckled and smiled while slow dancing with her and having her hands on her waist. Amity softly laughed. "I suppose I'm full of surprises" Amity stated staring intently into Luz's eyes. "But at least we could be weirdos together am I right?" Luz asked as she smiled and danced with her leading her all over the room. She even attempted a few twirls and flashy moves Amity giggled, "Definitely." Amity followed along with Luz's leading during their dance. "It was fun being a 'weirdo' with you, Luz" Amity said and flashed Luz a quick smile. Luz blushed and smiled "Right back at ya." She then twirls and dips her. She sets her back up and smiled. She then turned away shyly with her cheek facing Amity Amity was caught in her thoughts for a moment. She stared at Luz. Amity was never one to act without thinking things over properly. However, this moment was an exception. Amity, perhaps a little dazed from all the spinning, leaned steadily over to Luz. Cupping Luz's face with her hand, Amity gently gave Luz a quick kiss on the cheek. Luz got shocked. She placed a hand on the cheek she was kissed and blushed red. Luz.EXE has stopped working. Luz then passed out fainting from being completely lovestrucked "And It's a knockout." Gus mumbled as he, King, and Edric were secretly spying on them Amity somehow managed to catch Luz. She stared at her passed out body, and then the overwhelming realization that she had actually kissed her crush overcame her. She didn't regret it one bit, but she had been spinning all night, and the thousands of emotions she started to feel all at once did not help Amity at all. She simply smiled and held onto Luz tightly. Luz slowly opens her eyes and smiled. "Best...grom....ever..." The End
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submitted by SenaNarumiFan18 to Lumity [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:33 SenaNarumiFan18 Here With Me (A Lumity [Luz x Amity Songfic)

At first, Luz and Amity had started on the wrong foot. Amity despised Luz for quote on quote "embarrassing her and ruining her life." With the Abomination Incident, The Witch's duel incident, and the little minor issue in the library, Amity grew to hate her more and more. Though, after the library incident, they started try and get along better. There weren't on the friends terms yet but they started to get along better. When they ran into each other at The Knee. They grew even closer with one another. Over time, they eventually grew a respect for one another and are now officially friends, close friends surprisingly. Luz helped Amity to open up about her feelings and problems more. They started to hang out with each other more and more and grew a trust and bond with each other. Luz started to grow some brand new feelings, though. It was a strange heartache of some sort. Not from spicy food or anything. Perhaps, it was love.

At the Owl House
Eda was busy with brewing a strange looking potion of some sort as King was wearing some sort of paper crown pretending that he was some evil demon overlord. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Eda then puts some sort of potion to animate some vegetables. The vegetables then came to life growing some arms and legs.
"Alright everyone in the pot. Come on, let's go." Eda demanded as she was motioning her hand to the pot which was boiling and bubbling. All of the vegetables screamed as they all ran away
"Dang it, this happens every single time" Eda whined as she crosses her arms and grumbled in frustration.
Suddenly, Luz barged into the house.
"Guys! Guys!" Luz exclaimed as she ran into the house waving her hands out in a panic. She had the facial expression of worry while yelling that.
"Is someone on fire? Hoot?" Hooty asked as he turned his head to the others.
Luz slammed the door completely ignoring Hooty.
"Woah hey kiddo, watch the door. If it breaks, you're paying for it." Eda groaned as she crossed her arms
"I'm sorry Eda, but it's an emergency! This is not a drill" Luz screamed.
"Oh sugar honey iced tea. Is the Emperor's Coven here? I can't afford to go back to jail." Eda mumbled putting her hands in the air
"Not this time. Amity is coming over. For Azura Book Club. We need this place to look good." Luz said as she walked closer to Eda
King ran to them and said. "Ooooooo, ya mean your girlfriend?" He smirked while making kissing noises as he pretends to make out with someone
Luz blushed crimson from all over her face to the tips of her ears. "AMITY IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"
"Yet." King chimed in
"Sure she ain't." Eda smirked. "Alright kid, we'll help make this place look good for your little girlfriend. That green haired girl what's her face, uh...Amy. Or was it Amelia..."
"It's Amity." Luz corrected Eda as she looked confused.
"Same difference. By the way, try not to go to home run with her while she visits. If ya know what I mean" Eda said while she smirked
"EDA!" Luz yelled as she blushed of embarrassment as images of her and Amity at "Home run" and not the baseball kind of home run.
"Kidding, just kidding." Eda chuckled as she ruffles Luz's hair.
A little bit later, Luz was pacing back and forth as she was thinking. "Dang, I need a way to confess my feelings. But...how?" In her head, 'Hmmm, maybe I should confess my feelings for her. But every time I try, I end up looking like an awkward dork. I'll need to practice on someone but who?'
King was walking by holding his stuffed rabbit/chief minion Francios.
Luz the gives King a small smirk.
"Uhhhhh...why are you giving me that look?" King asked as his tone of voice and slight fear.
Luz then gets out a mint green wig
King's face then fell into a deadpan expression. "Oh no. I probably know where this is going." He grumbled.

Meanwhile, Amity was at her house in her bedroom. She then got her Azura book. She tries to sneak out of the house as quietly as she could in order to avoid being caught by her siblings. One of the last things she needed was her siblings Emira and Edric egging her on about her crush on Luz. Amity actually likes Luz back, though she doesn't want to admit it. In anime terms, this is the definition of a tsundere.
Amity was quietly tip toed getting close to the front door. In her head, 'Just a little more and I'm home free.'
Unfortunately, her two siblings appeared behind her. So much for sneaking out.
"Oh Mittens." Edric and Emira called in a singsong teasing voice as they had smirks on her face.
"Dang it." Amity grumbled as she had a frustrated expression on her face. She then turns over to her older siblings. "What is it?"
"Is our baby sister going out on her first date at book club?" Emira smirked
"What?! No!" Amity yelled defensively as she blushed.
"Come on Mittens. It's soooo obvious. You're crushing on Luz." Edric egged on. "Remember a while back?"
~Flashback from a while back~
Amity had just finished creating an abomination. This abomination happened to resemble Luz
"So uhhh Luz. I wanted to tell you something." Amity started as she blushed and rubs her left arm with her right hand.
Emira and Edric walked into Amity's room. "Mittens. Mom said that it's time for dinner-" Edric was cut off when he and his twin sister saw what was going on between Amity and the abomination Luz
Amity stopped what she was doing and simply stares at her older siblings with a pale white face. There was a moment of awkward silence. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Eventually, the twins slowly stepped back so she could get back to well...whatever Amity's doing
Amity panicked as she flails her arms around like a madwoman as she blushed and stammered. "W-wait guys! I can explain! Please don't tell Luz nor anyone from school! Em?! Ed?!
~Flashback ends~
Amity glared at the twins as she was blushing red, looking super embarrassed. "I thought we all agreed that we'd never bring that up again."
"It's so obvious that we could see it from all the way at the other side of the Boiling Isles." Edric chuckled as he ruffled Amity's hair messing it up a little.
Amity growls as she shoved Edric's hand away from her and then fixes up her hair so it could look neat again "Hey I just did my hair!" She barked as she now fixed her hair.
"Okay okay. We'll stop." Emira said smiling. " Have fun on your date~~" She made kissy noises.
"For the last time. It is not a date." Amity said as she opened the front door. "You two anyone from school, I will sue you both." She threatened as she went outside and closed the door behind her. She then began to walk to make her way to the Owl House.
"Mittens said we can't tell anyone from school about her 'not date'." Emira said as she crosses her arms.
"Buuut...she didn't say we could make a post about it on
Penstagram." Edric argued with a mischievous smile.
The green haired twins crossed their arms looking at each other with malicious smirks. "Oh this is gonna be sooooo good." They snickered. Oh god.

Meanwhile, At The Owl House,
"Sooo, uh, Amity...uhh...sup?" Luz said as she was trying to lean and act cool but ended up looking totally awkward.
King, who was wearing an Amity wig was crossing his arms. Luz wanted to practice talking to Amity. He then takes off the wig and slammed it down to the ground. He stamped his little paw on it "I feel ridiculous! Just cuz I have a model's body, doesn't mean you can dress me up like some doll!" He then let's out his scream of rage. It was high pitched and squeaky. He then runs off to somewhere else in the Owl House.
Eda fell on the floor laughing as she held her stomach, kicking her legs. "Haha, he sounds like a tea kettle." She laughed
"Well there goes my practice." Luz sighed. "Well there's only one thing to do Luz. Just be chill." Luz once again was once again trying to lean and act cool. Once again failing miserably which looked pathetic to watch that could give nearly anyone the feeling of second hand embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Amity finally had reached the Owl House. She looked at the house and simple knocked on the door.
"Hey little girl." Hooty said as he tilted his head.
"AHHHH!" Amity screamed as she jumped up in fear and then fell flat on her butt. She groaned as she got up and dusted herself off. She picked up the book that she dropped by accident when she fell.
"Ohhh, uhhhh....hey is Luz here?" Amity asked as she blushed slightly.
"Oh Luz is-" Hooty was cut off by Eda swinging the door open. "Oh hey....uhhh Ashley?"
"Amity." Amity corrected.
"Oh yeah one of Luz's schoolmates." Eda recalled. "Come in." She said
Amity nodded as she walked into the house as she looked around. She then spotted Luz still continuing to make an attempt to lean back.
"Uhhh Luz?" Amity asked as she looked very confused at the scene that she was witnessing before her very eyes
"AMITY?! OH CRAMITY!" Luz yelped as she the tripped and fell falling flat on her butt. She the groaned "Ugh! My butt!" She groaned as she then got up and the rubs her bottom as she then said. "Oh uh sup Amity?" She said
Amity couldn't help but giggle at Luz's actions finding it quite funny and adorable. A light pink blush brushed up upon her cheeks. "Hey Luz."
Luz clears her throat and then goes to her usual cheerful self "So ready for this weeks meeting of the Azura Book Club?" Luz asked with an excited smile
"You know it Luz." Amity replied as she smiled at her. The two headed into Luz's room. They spent the next while reading and chatting about major events that were happening in the book. They spent time goofing around reenacting scenes from the book in the characters voices.
At the end, they both laughed happily from having too much fun with each other.
"What another eventful session." Amity commented as she takes the hair tie out of her hair leaving her hair down. She waves her hair a little to try to get some of the hair out of the way of her eyes.
Luz had a shocked expression on her face as blushed seeing Amity's hair down for the very first time ever. "Wow Amity...this is the first time I've seen your hair down."
"What's wrong does it look bad?" Amity asked as she frowns
"What? No no. It's not bad at all. In fact, the complete opposite really. You look very pretty with your hair down." Luz complimented as she scratched the back of her head.
"Uhhh thank you Luz. That's very kind of you to say." Amity thanked her as she too had a blush appear on her cheeks.
"Hey Amity. There's something I wanna tell you." Luz said as she then gets up.
"Oh? What is it?" Amity asked curiously as she gets up as well.
"I don't really know how to explain it. It's this feeling...of heartache for some reason." Luz said.
"Oh? Are you sick?" Amity asked
"No...it's just...well....I kinda....ya see....Hmmm..." Luz was having a hard time expressing her feelings.
Luz and Amity suddenly heard some music from who knows where.
Luz then got this idea. Why say your feelings when you can sing your feelings.
"Uh where is that music coming from?" Amity asked looking around.
Luz shrugged as she and Amity looked through the window.
"How I sing you my feelings instead." Luz suggested. "There is music so mine as well use it."
Amity looked confused still. She and Luz looked out the window as Luz took a deep breathe and smiled and started to sing as she leaned on her hand with her elbow on the window
"Can I tell you something just between you and me?"
Luz then touched Amity by her arm causing Amity to look down at it as she blushed slightly and smiled.
"When I hear your voice, I know I'm finally free"
Amity then looked up at Luz with a slightly surprised look on her face.
Luz started blushing too as she placed her hands on her own cheeks.
"Every single word is perfect as it can be And I need you here with me"
Luz and Amity began to touch foreheads as they both started to blush even more, their blushes eventually reaching towards their ears.
Luz then grabbed Eda's staff and takes Amity by the hand out to the rooftops of the Owl House. Amity blushed as she felt her fingers intertwine with Luz's as they held hands and walked onto the roof.
"When you lift me up, I know that I'll never fall I can speak to you by saying nothing at all"
Amity could't help as her hair blew slightly from the movement and the breeze from outside. Her eyes were closed as she had a joyful open mouthed smile on her face as tints of red blush were on her cheeks.
The two stood there on the roof as they were standing a foot or two away from each other as their hands were still touching. The wind blow from outside made their hair and their clothes blow into the breeze slightly. Eventually the two's fingers untangled from each other as their hands parted from each other.
"Every single time, I find it harder to breathe
'Cause I need you here with me"
Luz stood back a little more as she smiled brightly and had her hands and the staff behind and continued to sing as Amity got her hair tie and started to tie her hair up back into her original ponytail.
"Every day You're saying the words that I want you to say"
Luz stood up straight as she then scratched the back of her neck with a blush.
"There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away"
Luz suddenly felt a hand on her arm. She looked and noticed that Amity's hand was on it. She was giving Luz a sweet smile as she blushed. Luz was blushing too as she smiled and continue to sing.
"Now I know I'm falling in deep 'Cause I need you here with me"
Luz then smiled and takes Amity's hand and twirls her around and spent the entire time dancing as Luz serenade's her.
"Every day
You're saying the words that I want you to say There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away Now I know I'm falling in deep 'Cause I need you here with me"
Luz then had her arms around Amity's waist while Amity was looking away a bit shyly.
"I think I see your face in every place that I go I try to hide it, but I know that it's gonna show Every single night, I find it harder to sleep 'Cause I need you here with me"
The two went back to dancing as Luz sings to her. Luz picked up and held her. Amity squeaked a little and blushed as she was a bit surprised by Luz's actions.
"Everyday You're saying the words that I want you to say There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away Now I know I'm falling in deep 'Cause I need you here with me"
Luz puts her back down as the two went back to dancing. Luz continued to sing.
"Every day
You're saying the words that I want you to say
There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away Now I know I'm falling in deep 'Cause I need you here with me"
Luz soon held Amity close as she softly sings.
"Can I tell you something just between you and me? When I hear your voice, I know I'm finally free Every single word is perfect as it can be 'Cause I need you here with me"
The music from where ever it's coming from soon finished.
Amity couldn't help but blush and tear up a little from getting a bit emotional. "Wow, Luz, that was very beautiful."
"I guess that I'm trying to say is....I like you Amity." Luz said while blushing.
"Luz....I...I like you too." Amity said back as she blushed more and smiled softly.
Meanwhile, King was running to Eda as he had two pillows tied around his skull head. One pillow on each side of it. "EDA! LUZ IS SINGING AGAIN!"
"I know pipsqueak. Why do ya think I'm covering my ears?" Eda asked as both her hands were detached from her arms and her index fingers were plugging her ears. "Bleh. I mean, "love is love" and whatever but all this flowery and romantic garbage is literally making me sick."
"Where did that music even come from? And what song was that?" King asked
"Dunno. The music is probably one of those hippity-hoppity dance music you young people listen to these days." Eda answered.
"Hey Eda. Where's your staff?" King asked noticing that the staff went missing.
"My sta-" Eda also saw and noticed that it was gone too. She growls as she grits her teeth. "LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ!"

Meanwhile, Luz and Amity were holding each other in a loving embrace. They looked into their eyes with love and content. Soon, they slowly started to lean in towards each other very slowly for a kiss. Unfortunately, before they could lock their lips, Amity noticed that the twins were spying on them this entire time.
Edric and Emira used their scrolls as they were recording the whole thing.
"This is sooooooo going on Penstagram." Edric said.
"Haha! Mittens and Luuuuz sitting in a tree!" Emira called in a teasing sing song voice.
Amity screamed in bloody murder at the top of her lungs as she then released Luz.
"Ed! Em! What in the heck are you two doing?!" Amity asked as she looked scarred, surprised and even a bit annoyed and angry.
"We just had to watch our baby sister's first love confession." They said in baby talk voices as they smirked.
"DELETE THAT VIDEO NOW!" Amity yelled at them as she shook her fist at them.
"Gotta catch us first Mittens!" The twins called as they started running around laughing.
"You two won't get away with this!" Amity yelled as she then runs into the window.
Luz pouted as she crossed her arms. "So much for getting a kiss." She mumbled.
Amity overheard this and sighed and rolled her eyes and then walked back to Luz and gave her a kiss on the cheek as blush appears on both of their cheeks.
"There." Amity mumbled. "Just note. I just did that to shut you up." she lied. The real version she did that was because she wanted to and also, like heck she was going to leave without a smooch.
Amity then goes through the window and began running all the way down to the bottom floor of the Owl House and exits out. She panted and sprinted after the laughing, running twins.
"YOU TWO ARE SO DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" Amity yelled as she runs after them.
Eda then opens the door and exits out. "LUZ YOU ARE SOOOO-huh?" She looked over and then sees Amity chasing down the twins around in circles around and in front of the Owl House.
"What the-" Eda started
"DUCK!" King cheered as he was squeaking a rubber ducky.
"Is going on?" Eda asked as she saw the twins. "Oh cool, it's a throw down, I got 20 snails on uh, what's her face, Amber something? Ah who cares? Let's just watch three clowns tussle. I'll bust Luz about my staff later."
"YEAH! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! I WANNA SEE BLOOD AND TEETH KNOCKED OUT!" King cheered as he pumped his fist.
As for Luz, she was standing still and was frozen due to being parallelized by Amity's kiss. She felt as if she was stuck in her shoes yet felt a satisfactory feeling of ecstasy. She blushed red having her hand touch the spot on her cheek she was kissed on. She then broke out of her paralysis as she then started to do s toothy grin as she pumped her fist. "HECK YEAH! NAILED IT!" She then thinks 'Hopefull Eda doesn't notice her staff is missing.'
"Don't think you're off the hook and getting away with this!" Luz heard Eda called.
Luz gulped. "Sugar honey iced tea."
You can also find this fanfic on my other accounts on Ao3, Deviant Art, and Wattpad. They’re all called FlutterDashFan18
https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlutterDashFan18/pseuds/FlutterDashFan18
https://www.deviantart.com/flutterdashfan18
https://www.wattpad.com/useFlutterDashFan18
submitted by SenaNarumiFan18 to Lumity [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:14 ThrowRAlikingagal I [26F] am developing a crush on my new friend [29F] who thinks I'm straight because of my break up

Around 2 weeks ago, I [26F] broke up with my boyfriend [27M] of a bit more than a year due to long distance problems and pretty much not being in love anymore. Since then, I've made a good friend at work, I'll call her Emily [29F], who helped me through my break up. She's such a nice person and I'm pretty sure I'm developing a crush on her, which has never happened to me before with a woman. She pretty much told me indirectly that she's attracted to women, but doesn't know that I feel like I am as well, because of me only having had boyfriends (and never having had a girlfriend).
I want to keep Emily close and not scare her away and be like "By the way, I just found out that I'm attracted to women as well because of you, wanna date?". I'm not good at flirting, and she's not picking up my subtle signals that I'm developing a crush on her.
How can I show her that I'm attracted to her (or women in general) without being overly direct and possibly losing a very good friend because of it? I'd much rather keep her as a friend than let my butterflies scare her away.
submitted by ThrowRAlikingagal to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:10 itsnotlando I(24m) am just tired of what feels like being strung around by my gf(22f)

Idk I’m not really looking for feedback on any of this, I just needed a place to vent and try to clear my head as I don’t really have any friends to do that with. It’s the third time I’ve been in this boat.
To sum things up our relationship has been all over the place the last going on 4 years now. Things will be good for 8months to a year or so and then she’ll end things. Don’t get me wrong I’ve played my part many of times and I know I’ve messed up. Recently tho I’ve been working on a lot of those issues, but what can I say I’m not perfect. Mostly I can just get too childish at times and it just can be difficult to bring myself back to “serious mode”.
I’m just tired this time around tho as I’m getting the same excuse of well I’m depressed and I need to focus on school from her. Like don’t get me wrong those are issues but she acts like I don’t have the same things going on in my life. Like hello darling I’ve gosh dang near ended things about a year ago but I dug myself out and I’ve got school too so I know the pain. Anyway today she told me she wanted to not see each other for the next couple of weeks so we could focus on school and we’ll go on a date after.
I’m ok with that but cmon I’ve seen the signs before so I also asked if there was something wrong between us as well and oh wouldn’t ya gosh dang know it I get the same crapolia I’ve gotten before. “Oh well I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things lately” like cmon if ever there was a hey fudge off for a moment while I confirm I don’t want you anymore that is the phrase to use. idk it’s like hey you do deserve time to focus on you and figure things but honey this is the third dang time you’ve said the same thing. So don’t go blaming it on school and depression.
It’s even more so frustrating as she’s been complaining to me lately that her friends/coworkers(she works for the school as well) have been treating her horribly and don’t care about her. From what she’s said that is clear as day and even more so it seems she is being used for their benefit I. Classes and or it also seems they only hang out with her cuz they don’t have anyone else to hang out with. I’ve tried guiding her away from these “friends” but she’ll just go back and be besties like nothing happened and it’s exhausting. Like even right now she’s at one of these “friends” houses chilling/doing class work. Like why in the world are you over there when they made you cry multiple times in the last couple months. I’m tired.
I’m handling things a lot better this time around as in the past I’ve freaked out from my anxiety taking over and I mean it TOOK over. I’d have pulse rates 200+ just sitting down that would last 30minutes at a time multiple times a day making it dang near impossible to function properly. I’m managing at the moment but man the heart is still hurting.
I don’t know what will happen but I know this time around I’m not gonna let anxiety take over. I know that if she and I are meant to be then we will be and if not then we won’t. I know that if she ends things I will not be coming back if she wants to try again. Ugh I love this lady and love her family but it’s ruining my life stopping and starting at her whim.
Alas maybe I’m overreacting and it’ll all be gravy but who knows. Love kinda stinks sometimes guys. Makes it hard to keep trying.
I’ve a lot more to say but I’ll end it here as otherwise I’ll go on and on over the same ideals. If you’ve gotten this far thank you for letting me rant and be able to breath for a moment. Hope you’re having a great day wherever you are<3
submitted by itsnotlando to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:04 MustafaTheBeast I’m leaving Fortnite after 2 years...

I have started playing Fortnite in March 27th 2018 and it was sooo fun. I wasn’t great and I didn’t play that much but as I played even more matches, I got hooked into it. I’ve always loved the building aspect of the game and many mechanics of the game make it unique. But then I realised that the game developers just don’t care for us. I had hope for epic games during the lawsuit and hoped that they don’t mess up. Well the complete opposite happened. I woke up and saw my notification feed saying that epic games lost the case or they moved the next date to July 2021 and I just stared into the abyss wondering about what I was going to play. They’re just money hungry idiots that just don’t care. I know they implemented the direct payment option for a reason but if they actually cared, then we would’ve gotten Fortnite back. It’s like putting a bunch of bananas on half price thinking that you would earn more but you just end up with half or less than half of your banana money.
I’m now currently moving to CODM or Minecraft. It has been a good run 😔
submitted by MustafaTheBeast to FortNiteMobile [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:03 ChordedCadmium UPDATE: My(21M) girlfriend(19F) broke up with me and I resolved my conflicted feelings.

She broke up with me a month ago, after nearly two years together, the day after she went out on a date with her guy friend (18M) she met at college and told me not to worry about. On the date that we had talked about going on. That sent me to be really sad, for our lost relationship and the man I was for her. I felt like my mind and heart was in ruins, and then the anger and rage came out. I put the pieces together and realized I was used, lied to, and betrayed. I loved her with all my heart and was a devoted boyfriend. I dont go into relationships frivolously, I'm a selective but committed man and I love deeply. But the stain her actions put on my heart made me feel tainted, sick, and broken. The anger burned up in me and I knew if I didnt want it to affect me permanently, I had to get final closure. I contacted her. It started civil, and I told her that I had been having difficulty trying to heal from our parting when I don't have all the pieces fitted together, her side and mine. She said that by the time we ended things she was "already gone" and that she didnt feel like she was responsible for the way I feel and that I should suck it up and move on. Granted she was right, but she also hadn't answered for her actions. She knew what she did was wrong and thought she would get away without me figuring out. She initiated the relationship with the guy and tossed me aside like we were nothing. If she were honest and broke it off before that, I'd have taken it a bit better, than now. I didn't let my anger take control, I just made her know that what she did was shitty and that I hope by the next time we met, she would be a much better person. We were a couple who believed in stuff like fate and that no matter what happened, we would always cross paths. Deep down I still care about her and I know the person who I loved and who loved me is still there, but I definitely can't forgive her right now for what her other side has done. I am not looking for her to apologize, I just want her to think about that and work on herself for the better. I'm focusing on myself and my ambitions: writing. Nothing like solitude and a bit of a tortured state to get that working. I'm gonna be single as long as I need. I'm not looking for another person right now, but if someone good comes along down the line, then so be it. I messaged her new guy (generally a bad idea) and I told him kindly to take good care of her. He replied back that he appreciated me reaching out and that he plans to be a good boyfriend. At least he appears respectable. I don't have beef with him for my pain, she started the relationship and lied to me. He's just the guy who came along. I want her to know that I didn't become some evil ex-boyfriend who wants to ruin her life, she's had enough toxic people in her life.
TLDR: I had to find the whole truth of why I was broken up with to deal with the anger I had pent up. Her new bf doesnt seem like a bad guy and I hope she becomes a better person.
submitted by ChordedCadmium to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:01 Wizinja27 Sex Life Just Kinda Died

Obligatory: using my alt account (not a throwaway just an alt, hope that flys here).
My gf (F 26) and I (M 24) started dating in HS about 7.5 years ago. We started dating because we liked each other as people and decided that we wanted to continue being parts of each other's life.
We started to get... physical around college. We did the long distance thing basically starting a year after we started dating, so the visits every other weekend or so were full of passion. When I say that, I mostly mean emotionally - I've always had a higher sex drive than she has had. We had actual PIV very rarely, but were intimate in other ways every visit.
Last summer, I moved across the country for work and she came with me. Soon before we moved, I proposed! I love this woman so much, and I couldn't see my life without her.
Right after we moved, we lived in basically a hotel for a month or so and the sex was really good. Once we moved into our own place and she got a job, her sex drive plummeted.
We've talked about it a lot, and she's basically said that she doesn't know why it's happened and she wants to get her sex drive, but she's having a really hard time doing so.
Also, I've started researching kink and discovered that I'm fairly kinky. I've also told her this and it sounds like on the surface we're a good match except that she's otherwise super vanilla (I am very much less so).
Everytime I try to push the slightest bit for physical intimacy beyond massages, she shuts down - sometimes she'll go along with it, but she doesn't really reciprocate unless I point it out, and even then it's half-hearted. She lacks confidence in her body (pretty much at all), which certainly contributes.
How do I talk to her about this? I feel like the only option I have left is "if you don't have kinky sex with me and enjoy it, we're breaking up." I love her for so many other reasons, but physical intimacy and kink are important to me. She claims she wants to adapt, but I fear that that's not healthy behavior - and if I'm right, what do I say: "I know what's good for your mental health better than you do."?
I feel like I'm not getting what I want, I don't blame her, but I feel like I can't talk about it let alone do anything about it...
Edit: Some other important details I somehow missed: She has depression and anxiety. She's been doing super well with it in part because I've helped her - I'm generally a very positive and calm person, and am helping to provide a stable life for her. I feel like she's pushing herself to be my perfect partner in fear of what happens if she's not...
Since I know people will talk about us breaking up let me walk through that scenario: if we break up, she has to move back across the country to our hometown. She'll have to live with her parents who are borderline emotionally abusive (controlling, insane parents, etc.).
She'll have to leave some friends, a decent job (and that was a struggle for her to find), our dog (he's definitely more attached to me and I can provide for him better, but for her it'd be like losing a child). Her life would be in shambles.
Or, should could not move. So she stays in the area which has a MUCH higher cost of living than she can afford on her own, maybe gets visitation with our dog (which honestly may ne harder on her)...
Edit 2: I guess I know that ultimately it's up to what I want, so I guess I'm really looking for advice on two things: 1. Is it possible that she could change sexually? It seems far-fetched, but she's so devoted to me it might be possible? 2. If not (and it would normally be a deal-breaker for me), we should probably split up. So how do I navigate through the messiness of splitting up the life we've built - and, frankly, her own life that's built almost entirely on our relationship?
submitted by Wizinja27 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 10:01 carottopppppppp Losing myself

Hi, hello, this is my first reddit post so be gentle and English isn't my first language, so it's gonna be messy.
I'm (22f), been living alone for a long time, I have a job, no friends and a now ex boyfriend (24m) since last night. We were together for a year and 1/2 approximately. I've never been in a more loving, passionate, happy relationship before. Important side note is that we were also coworkers but we started working from home since the pandemic started. It was going amazingly until in July this year I decided to go through his phone while he's sleeping. I've only did it once before and all I found was pictures from other females both normal and nudes.
Back to the story, I went through his phone and I found that that in May he stopped working in the middle of his shift to go with a coworker to a place that is known for people having sex at. Mind you, this coworker person (23f, we'll call her Amanda) I've known for almost 8 years because we come from the same part of the country and she dated one of my best friends for 5 years. Also an important side node, Amanda has been working in the company for the longest from all of us, then me and lastly my ex-bf. She never seemed like the slutty type until I started working in the company. I brushed it off as being friendly and didn't pay it any attention until I went through my ex-bf phone. I don't wanna go much into that because although it plays a big role in the situation, it's not the point. Normally, I thought that he cheated on me and we had a whole fight about it, but his explanation is that she was coming onto him and she didn't take no for an answer so he decided that it's best if they talk in person. I decided that I'm gonna believe him even tho deep down inside I didn't believe it and continued the relationship. He told me that he wants me to respect his privacy and not touch his phone without consent which I understand and I haven't touched his phone since that happened. Afterwards we had a couple fights that would end up into "breakups" because he decided to. He would then come back to me and we would work it out till it happened again.
Since then he stopped working at the company and is currently training to work in a different company. This guy, he has told me multiple fuckboy stories before and after we started dating, how so many females are after him (which was kinda true, because a lot of girls were infact calling/texting him).
After stuff like that and the situation that I explained, I got a little insecure. I'm not really a big social media person, I recently deleted every social media account because I feel like I need a detox from it. I posted from time to time but I keep my business private mostly. My ex-bf is not the type of person to post selfies and stuff but he does spent a lot of time on social media. I was wondering how in this year and 1/2 he doesn't have any sign on socials of being in a relationship.
His excuse is that he doesn't wanna post selfies, that he doesn't consider himself to be photogenic etc. which I understand but it would be a nice gesture if he had just one picture with me in it. I've never asked for stuff like this in the past and didn't plan to.
Things escalated when I asked to see his phone (he told me to ask him for consent to do that) and he got really defensive and asked for mine back. I never hid anything from him nor is my phone off limits to him, he can do whatever he wants. I just thought it was very suspicious that he reacted that way and I gave him my phone anyways. He told me and I quote "I'm gonna going through your entire phone, even email". As I was going through the hundreds of nudes that he saved on his instagram, I asked is this the reason why he wouldn't hand me the phone and he started aggressively tugging my hand and his phone. He took the phone and slapped me. I tried to speak but he slapped me again and again and again. Until I fell to the ground because I felt like I was gonna black out. I got up crying, not feeling the left side of my face because I wanted him to sit down and listen to me. He started calling me names, hitting me, telling me how I'm the only person that brings this out of him and that I make him this way. He said that it's my fault that I've been abused before because I'm a psychopath. He said I deserved everything that has happened to me and more. He said that he should be sorry and that he should want to hug me but all he wanted is to hit me. He called me fake, even the fact that I fell was fake to him. Everything about my existance was fake to him. He said that the reason why I don't have any friends is because I'm a brainless piece of shit that carries my head on my shoulders for nothing. He said that he doesn't want to see me ever again and left. I can go on for hours because he said a lot of things and I've never been this hurt in my life.
I'm now all alone stuck with a job that makes me super depressed and I barely make ends meet so that means no money, no friends or family, no boyfriend. All I have is bruises and a broken heart. What should I do? Where should I go? I'm starting to lose my mind and I'm really scarred.
I really wanted to get this off my chest and if you got this far, thank you for reading, I appreciate it.
submitted by carottopppppppp to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 09:59 adavism I made a bunch of horrible choices and now I need to fix it. but how

So I could write a book on the our relationship together but I'm gonna try to sum up until we moved in together to get everyone up to speed here goes
Moved to across state for a job. had couple of dates that where meeh. then swiped on a girl who i never thought go for me. we match. instantly click. went on our date. best date ever where we did nothing but just talked and vibed. didn't even wanna have sex with her cause i didn't want her to think i'm just here for a hook up. still did that morning she started it. car breaks down. i go fix her car. super nervous cause this one is amazing. Go 110% to get the girl. scares her and walls up. back off. comes around. tells me about hated being treat cause she's pretty and has a drink problem and not having money. told her i'd support her to quit drinking and told her how awsome she is other than her looks. uses her looks to go a roof top bar. remind her of what she said. she blows up i feel like i totally fucked up. seems like we patched things up. still says she isn't ready for a relationship because of her past. said okay i''l wait and help you learn to trust again. should walked a way. helps me with an event said she is living with a "friend" now. i knew it was a dude. should have walked a way. kept this up for a couple of months until i got tired of the bullshit. go out with my first new match. Super fucking into me and super fucking crazy. girl get jealous. show i'm in a relationship, then next day she does. i realize i don't like the girl i'm with. get a text at that moment of original girl saying she think she made a mistake. i said so did i. agree to both break up with our people. i did. she didn't. really should have walked a way. couple days later she calls and comes to my place. cheats on her boyfriend. I thought it meant we was finally getting together from what all she said. told friend cause i was so excited we're finally getting together. friend got and tells her bf behind my back. girl feels betrayed. shes she loves me but loves him differently. it just said okay. help her lie to bf. drop sticking their nose in friend. couple months more go by. we still talk. randomly get calls crying asking to come live with me. i say yes. she never does. couple of more months go by. hanging out with her and bf. they get into an argument. he wants to break up with her. she deck him and starts stomping his chest. he flips her pound her face and pours a beer on her head. pick her up. quickly put her into my car and rob the place of he stuff. let her pick the next place. got her a dog. bought her a bed, let her use my dresser and tv.

Now to sum up the past 4 months. drinking all the times. gd from 3 jobs. random dudes going in and out of the house (least 33) only here from her when she wants something or needs me to rescue her from something. has tried to fuck me twice. once right after another dude getting into my bed naked with her stomach shinny from his cum..didn't even want to touch her. another was on a new tradition of a bff day. she was too drunk and i didn't want to take advantage of her like everyone always does. next day told her about what happened she's embraced by it. never have another bff day since. got tired of the lies. can't tell plain as day when she does. got a new job offer so quit the worst job i've ever had to the new one. she gets fired 2 days later. we broke as shit. I'm selling my guitars and musical equipment to keep us fed. she's still getting drunk, fucking dude, and having time of her life while we're struggling. i'm on the job for 3 days. still broke. we have a good time watching the game. things are looking good. next day sell my last equipment i can part with to fed us...another random dude comes over. i call her out on it. she lies again. super douchebag talking shit about our place. try to stay calm as best as i can. got to the bathroom and her door is next to it. here dick sucking sounds. knock like a cop. told her to get the fuck out. went completely off kick douche after he's trying to fight me in my own house. go full anger. first time she has ever heard me yell. tries every manipulation in the book including the ol' "i'm gonna kill myself right in front of you" none of it work.
We talked for a while then I realized this is all my fault. if i would have walked a way. Both of us wouldn't be here like this. Now here's where I need the advice I told her she has to go to AA in order for me not to kick her out. she's has a problem and I've seen it before. my friend died at 30 from alcoholism and she going down his road hard. she doesn't even look the same anymore. but she has nothing. a computer and 3 bags of clothes that it. IF i kick her out. she's either living in her car or using her body to have a place to sleep at night. I do really car about her and do really love her..she doesn't feel the same. just been taking advantage of me this whole time....but she is an addict. everyone has given up on her. even her family. it would be easy just to pack her shit up and tell her to leave. it would hurt. she would hate forever and that would make sure that I could finally move on from her. but it would be cruel. the other thing would be to give her time to find a place and we go our separate ways but that would always give me hope to cling to. What I really want to happen is that she does go to aa and at least gets better...but i'm pretty sure she's already trying to find he next place and vamp. So honestly i don't know what to do. the guy who does her hair is an aa manager. I thought about contacting him and getting him to help me get her into the program. but again feel like she's gonna vamp any day. this has been her two days off didn't come home last night only stop to get her dog (who she never took care of and shit all in my floor and she never cleans it up) left and never came back. So either she is actually taking care of the dog or she's planning to leave. I'll only know after tomorrow if she comes back and cleans up. or cleans her stuff out. so I don't know what to do. should I talk her into staying but push for the aa...should i just stay out of the way like i have and let her vamp, or just wait it out and let the pattern respect itself....she is my best friend. and honestly i need her now more than ever cause first time the rent is all on her. i see her how she is giving the rent but then leaving. and yes I was jealous of all the dudes. especially after covering 2 moths of her half of the rent, paying her car payment twice. rescuing her off side of the road. talking her out of a dui. always always being there for everything but all the random ass dude get to fuck her on the bed i bought her. yes I not claiming the victim because i made it easy for her to get all of that. she just have to hint a couple of time until i finally offer. I was the one to always push for us to be together..I always thought if i can proof myself enough to her. she will finally see i've been the only one in her life that's always there ...sooo i really don't know what to do. best guess is to just stay to the side and see how it plays out...but a part of me wants to apologize not for what i said but how i said it. try to work it out with her, but at the same time if i do she'll just go right back to how see was....so reddit help me out here what should i do or is there an option i'm not seeing? also apologize of the grammar...I just need ed to get it out quick and see if anyone has any idea

Update: so now she's spending the night at the dude she beat his face in and cheated on. half of mind to tell him what's she's doing buttering him up so she can have a place to stay.
submitted by adavism to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 09:52 Environmental-Copy15 How do you recover from having your heart shattered?

I was going about my day feeling like everything between my significant other and I were going perfect when all of a sudden he stops texting me. He had promised me the night before that he would be down to have our regular date, but he never showed up. He didn’t end up answering me until two days later when I asked if he would return the rest of my things to me. He hasn’t explained what happened and won’t talk about it at all. I literally thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. I was so happy. I just don’t understand how someone can do this to someone else, knowing how badly it’s going to hurt them. The worst part of it all is that I still love him so very much. I just don’t really know what to do now. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up.
submitted by Environmental-Copy15 to depression [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 09:50 Oh_Deer_Smear Worst week of my life.

Worst week of my life.
So this is my first time ever posting.
Hello, hi! I been probably deciding whether or not to upload my story for a while now, but recently more stress has been bubbling up with a current situation so I thought, hey yeah maybe just a vent might release something. It's quite a long one, so maybe grab a snack.
TW: Self-harm, strong profanity
-----------------
Where to start? I guess I start the overall setting. It's 2017, I was in my sophomore year, and we were nearing Spring Break.
I lived with my aunt, uncle and their two younger kids- one being eight and the other one four. Prior to this, I have lived with my aunt for a good thirteen years then. Quite a long time since my parents were either not in the country or couldn't take care of me. So, I been living with them since I was just five. I saw them as my real parents for the longest time. I loved them to bits.
But I didn't love how they treated me. I understand that were were a Hispanic household (already a red flag), but the way they disciplined us, strictly me, was terrible. Running down the list from yelling at us to straight up physically striking us across the face or using belts to wires, or putting us on our knees with our arms above our heads for an hour or two - just wasn't at all correct. And I started to see how it was affecting me. I had progressively grew more and more worried by every step I took and worried about my own safety at home!
It was terrible, but only got horrible as I entered high school. At this point forward, I had resorted to self harm to keep me at bay. Since talking about it in school only led to check-ups with DYFS (Division of Child Protection and Permanency for those who don't know) and then my guardians beating me after they leave the house for almost getting them in trouble with authorities.
Had to lie through my teeth about how "I didn't really mean to say my guardians were the core of my depression, stress and anxiety!" Cause one thing is telling someone but another thing is the possibly of being taken away from your family cause of it. This kept me shut.

So phasing to 2017- things have been shaky. I was failing two classes as I couldn't focus with the increase of verbal abuse at house, especially when they found out after I would cut (three years late gee). Life at home was hell. And it wasn't going to lighten up anytime soon. Since everything hit me like a truck for the last week I lived with them, I'll summarize everyday of that week.
MONDAY
School was alright up until my last period which was Creative Writing. It was one of my favorite classes to attend. Everything was alright until I had remembered that we were suppose to present a piece of writing that we were suppose to write over the weekend. Completely slipped my mind, and all I had was a suicide note that I wrote that weekend...I presented it. I know, I know, not the best thing to do (felt more like a cry for help tbh). My Creative Writing teacher had immediately had me step out the room with her to ask me if I was alright. Obviously I lied, and she didn't push it further. BUT did consult my consular about it. I went home that evening to have lunch with my aunt and the kids. Then she receives a call from my consular (which she didn't pick up, cause no phones during lunchtime) and doesn't hesitate to ask me what was going on. I tell her about the note and she asks to read it. She does but instead of any emotional support, she starts yelling her head off.
"What are you crazy? Do you need to go to a mental institution?"
After that she shut herself in her room, probably calling up my parents to tell them that apparently I have problems. Most of that day went with me hiding in my room (also shared with aunt's gremlins)
TUESDAY
I tend not to remember Tuesday. Much of Tuesday was more silence surprisingly, other then my own source of enjoyment in life when I'm down aka my phone being taken and the heavy atmosphere. I think it was quiet that day cause there was this strong sense of neglection; wouldn't even look my way.
WEDNESDAY
I absolute hated breathing in their space at this point on. I could not focus in school jack shit and surprisingly felt the need to be in school more then at home. At this point, my aunt had popped the question about wanting to move in with my mom. I had said yes and she went to her room to sort out flights. I remember my mom calling and me to open up with my aunt, talk about whatever had me depressed.
A small claimer. With the fear I grew up with, I do not have the voice to talk to them about anything personal.
So I did take probably half my mom's advice, and wrote down how I felt and what was the cause of it. And promptly I gave this letter to my aunt to read- since I couldn't speak out. I remember waiting, what felt like hours for her to come out from her room. After she finally did- and she sat down to talk to me...She took everything I wrote and threw it out the window. I was dumbfounded. She discarded everything I wrote and brought up something completely different. Soon after she returned back to her room and my uncle had just arrived from work.
Now, I had favorited my uncle more then my aunt cause he would sometimes cover up for me and sometimes wouldn't punish me as hard. This is crucial for this upcoming part.
I strictly recall that Sharkboy and Lavagirl was on TV when the man of the house aka my uncle came out the room and started yelling his head off at me. I can't remember it all but some of it went like-
"Do you know how disrespectful this is?" (He was dangling my letter in front of me at the moment)
"While you are still under this roof, you will be known for being a piece of shit, good for nothing, son of a bitch!"
This hurt me more then it should have cause, it was coming from the person I trusted a little more then my aunt. And after that I went to the bathroom in my room and balled my eyes out. I really couldn't stand living at that point forward. It was the worst day.
THURSDAY
I was focused on saying my farewells to everyone in school cause my flight was on Friday. So it was only appropriate to. I was going away to start a new chapter elsewhere, it was beyond stressful.
Only bad that happened considering that I was mostly quiet and I didn't have my phone, was that I had come home from school and like, not even two seconds after step foot into the house, I had my aunt yell at me for looking like a hobo..? All I was wearing was my sweater and some baggy pants. Well during lunch I asked if I could go to my friend's house nearby. Surprisingly I was granted the permission to go so I immediately haul ass out the house.
Sadly I was stuck outside me friend's house for two hours as it seemed that they fell asleep on me so I took the time to walk around to take pictures (which I might post attached to this). I wasn't too mad, more relieved to be out that house.
FRIDAY
I said my farewells to the last of people I knew. It was depressing. Cleaning out my closet, taking everything that was mine. That was it for me in that house.
They were supportive those last few moments. I cried, I sincerely did. Cause they were showing me the affection I wanted for the longest time...and there it was, right there. When I was passing along the Security Gate, seeing them for the last time.

I'm certainly doing slightly better then I was before, not as stressful or depressive as before. It's been three years since that incident and it still haunts me for sure. They certainly left a huge wound on me for it too. I moved in with my mom and it was a tad better but still rather discriminatory and stressful- Mom found out I quit my job and she was certainly not pleased.
But all in all I really need to move away from family. My wounds have to heal in an environment without them. And that is what I'm currently doing that has me stressed. I am moving away from home without a word about it. Hopefully it goes alright, I am counting the hours as my move date a the twelfth. I'll hopefully update on it.
Thank you for reading my vent!

A photo after the rain I sat under waiting for my friend.
submitted by Oh_Deer_Smear to abusiveparents [link] [comments]


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